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731
You
can
check
your
boyfriend
s
text
messages
and
find
nothing
,
but
that
s
rarely
the
end
of
it
;
then
you
may
start
wondering
if
he
has
a
second
phone
.
You
can
feel
slighted
and
stepped
over
at
work
to
explain
why
you
missed
out
on
a
promotion
,
but
then
that
causes
you
to
distrust
your
coworkers
and
second
-
guess
everything
they
say
to
you
(
and
how
you
think
they
feel
about
you
)
,
which
in
turn
makes
you
even
less
likely
to
get
promoted
.
You
can
keep
pursuing
that
special
someone
you
re
supposed
to
be
with
,
but
with
each
rebuffed
advance
and
each
lonely
night
,
you
only
begin
to
question
more
and
more
what
you
re
doing
wrong
.
732
And
it
s
in
these
moments
of
insecurity
,
of
deep
despair
,
that
we
become
susceptible
to
an
insidious
entitlement
:
believing
that
we
deserve
to
cheat
a
little
to
get
our
way
,
that
other
people
deserve
to
be
punished
,
that
we
deserve
to
take
what
we
want
,
and
sometimes
violently
.
733
It
s
the
backwards
law
again
:
the
more
you
try
to
be
certain
about
something
,
the
more
uncertain
and
insecure
you
will
feel
.
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734
But
the
converse
is
true
as
well
:
the
more
you
embrace
being
uncertain
and
not
knowing
,
the
more
comfortable
you
will
feel
in
knowing
what
you
don
t
know
.
735
Uncertainty
removes
our
judgments
of
others
;
it
preempts
the
unnecessary
stereotyping
and
biases
that
we
otherwise
feel
when
we
see
somebody
on
TV
,
in
the
office
,
or
on
the
street
.
Uncertainty
also
relieves
us
of
our
judgment
of
ourselves
.
We
don
t
know
if
we
re
lovable
or
not
;
we
don
t
know
how
attractive
we
are
;
we
don
t
know
how
successful
we
could
potentially
become
.
The
only
way
to
achieve
these
things
is
to
remain
uncertain
of
them
and
be
open
to
finding
them
out
through
experience
.
736
Uncertainty
is
the
root
of
all
progress
and
all
growth
.
As
the
old
adage
goes
,
the
man
who
believes
he
knows
everything
learns
nothing
.
We
cannot
learn
anything
without
first
not
knowing
something
.
The
more
we
admit
we
do
not
know
,
the
more
opportunities
we
gain
to
learn
.
737
Our
values
are
imperfect
and
incomplete
,
and
to
assume
that
they
are
perfect
and
complete
is
to
put
us
in
a
dangerously
dogmatic
mindset
that
breeds
entitlement
and
avoids
responsibility
.
The
only
way
to
solve
our
problems
is
to
first
admit
that
our
actions
and
beliefs
up
to
this
point
have
been
wrong
and
are
not
working
.
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738
This
openness
to
being
wrong
must
exist
for
any
real
change
or
growth
to
take
place
.
739
Before
we
can
look
at
our
values
and
prioritizations
and
change
them
into
better
,
healthier
ones
,
we
must
first
become
uncertain
of
our
current
values
.
740
We
must
intellectually
strip
them
away
,
see
their
faults
and
biases
,
see
how
they
don
t
fit
in
with
much
of
the
rest
of
the
world
,
to
stare
our
own
ignorance
in
the
face
and
concede
,
because
our
own
ignorance
is
greater
than
us
all
.