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I
do
not
do
it
to
awake
his
compassion
,
but
to
mortify
myself
,
place
myself
,
as
it
were
,
on
the
pillory
.
I
could
have
flung
myself
down
in
the
street
and
begged
him
to
walk
over
me
,
tread
on
my
face
.
I
do
n't
even
bid
him
good-evening
.
Perhaps
the
"
Commandor
"
guesses
that
something
is
amiss
with
me
.
He
slackens
his
pace
a
little
,
and
I
say
,
in
order
to
stop
him
,
"
I
would
have
called
upon
you
long
ago
with
something
,
but
nothing
has
come
yet
!
"
"
Indeed
?
"
he
replies
in
an
interrogative
tone
.
"
You
have
n't
got
it
finished
,
then
?
"
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"
No
,
it
did
n't
get
finished
.
"
My
eyes
by
this
time
are
filled
with
tears
at
his
friendliness
,
and
I
cough
with
a
bitter
effort
to
regain
my
composure
.
The
"
Commandor
"
tweaks
his
nose
and
looks
at
me
.
"
Have
you
anything
to
live
on
in
the
meantime
?
"
he
questions
.
"
No
,
"
I
reply
.
"
I
have
n't
that
either
;
I
have
n't
eaten
anything
today
,
but
...
.
"
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"
The
Lord
preserve
you
,
man
,
it
will
never
do
for
you
to
go
and
starve
yourself
to
death
,
"
he
exclaims
,
feeling
in
his
pocket
.
This
causes
a
feeling
of
shame
to
awake
in
me
,
and
I
stagger
over
to
the
wall
and
hold
on
to
it
.
I
see
him
finger
in
his
purse
,
and
he
hands
me
half-a-sovereign
.
He
makes
no
fuss
about
it
,
simply
gives
me
half-a-sovereign
,
reiterating
at
the
same
time
that
it
would
never
do
to
let
me
starve
to
death
.
I
stammered
an
objection
and
did
not
take
it
all
at
once
.
It
is
shameful
of
me
to
...
it
was
really
too
much
...
.