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- Джон Фоулз
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I
must
fight
with
my
weapons
.
Not
his
.
Not
selfishness
and
brutality
and
shame
and
resentment
.
He
’
s
worse
than
the
Arthur
Seaton
kind
.
If
Arthur
Seaton
saw
a
modern
statue
he
didn
’
t
like
,
he
’
d
smash
it
.
But
Caliban
would
drape
a
tarpaulin
round
it
.
I
don
’
t
know
which
is
worse
.
But
I
think
Caliban
’
s
way
is
.
November
24th
I
’
m
getting
desperate
to
escape
.
I
can
’
t
get
any
relief
from
drawing
or
playing
records
or
reading
.
The
burning
burning
need
I
have
(
all
prisoners
must
have
)
is
for
other
people
.
Caliban
is
only
half
a
person
at
the
best
of
times
.
I
want
to
see
dozens
and
dozens
of
strange
faces
.
Like
being
terribly
thirsty
and
gulping
down
glass
after
glass
of
water
.
Exactly
like
that
.
I
read
once
that
nobody
can
stand
more
than
ten
years
in
prison
,
or
more
than
one
year
of
solitary
confinement
.
One
just
can
’
t
imagine
what
prison
is
like
from
outside
.
You
think
,
well
,
there
’
d
be
lots
of
time
to
think
and
read
,
it
wouldn
’
t
be
too
bad
.
But
it
is
too
bad
.
It
’
s
the
slowness
of
time
.
I
’
ll
swear
all
the
clocks
in
the
world
have
gone
centuries
slower
since
I
came
here
.
I
shouldn
’
t
complain
.
This
is
a
luxury
prison
.
And
there
’
s
his
diabolical
cunning
about
the
newspapers
and
radio
and
so
on
.
I
never
read
the
papers
very
much
,
or
listened
to
the
news
.
But
to
be
totally
cut
off
.
It
’
s
so
strange
.
I
feel
I
’
ve
lost
all
my
bearings
.
I
spend
hours
lying
on
the
bed
thinking
about
how
to
escape
.
Endless
.
