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If
there
is
any
exhibition
in
all
Vanity
Fair
which
Satire
and
Sentiment
can
visit
arm
in
arm
together
;
where
you
light
on
the
strangest
contrasts
laughable
and
tearful
:
where
you
may
be
gentle
and
pathetic
,
or
savage
and
cynical
with
perfect
propriety
:
it
is
at
one
of
those
public
assemblies
,
a
crowd
of
which
are
advertised
every
day
in
the
last
page
of
the
Times
newspaper
,
and
over
which
the
late
Mr.
George
Robins
used
to
preside
with
so
much
dignity
.
There
are
very
few
London
people
,
as
I
fancy
,
who
have
not
attended
at
these
meetings
,
and
all
with
a
taste
for
moralizing
must
have
thought
,
with
a
sensation
and
interest
not
a
little
startling
and
queer
,
of
the
day
when
their
turn
shall
come
too
,
and
Mr.
Hammerdown
will
sell
by
the
orders
of
Diogenes
'
assignees
,
or
will
be
instructed
by
the
executors
,
to
offer
to
public
competition
,
the
library
,
furniture
,
plate
,
wardrobe
,
and
choice
cellar
of
wines
of
Epicurus
deceased
.
Even
with
the
most
selfish
disposition
,
the
Vanity
Fairian
,
as
he
witnesses
this
sordid
part
of
the
obsequies
of
a
departed
friend
,
ca
n't
but
feel
some
sympathies
and
regret
.
My
Lord
Dives
's
remains
are
in
the
family
vault
:
the
statuaries
are
cutting
an
inscription
veraciously
commemorating
his
virtues
,
and
the
sorrows
of
his
heir
,
who
is
disposing
of
his
goods
.
What
guest
at
Dives
's
table
can
pass
the
familiar
house
without
a
sigh
?
--
the
familiar
house
of
which
the
lights
used
to
shine
so
cheerfully
at
seven
o'clock
,
of
which
the
hall-doors
opened
so
readily
,
of
which
the
obsequious
servants
,
as
you
passed
up
the
comfortable
stair
,
sounded
your
name
from
landing
to
landing
,
until
it
reached
the
apartment
where
jolly
old
Dives
welcomed
his
friends
!
What
a
number
of
them
he
had
;
and
what
a
noble
way
of
entertaining
them
.
How
witty
people
used
to
be
here
who
were
morose
when
they
got
out
of
the
door
;
and
how
courteous
and
friendly
men
who
slandered
and
hated
each
other
everywhere
else
!
He
was
pompous
,
but
with
such
a
cook
what
would
one
not
swallow
?
he
was
rather
dull
,
perhaps
,
but
would
not
such
wine
make
any
conversation
pleasant
?
We
must
get
some
of
his
Burgundy
at
any
price
,
the
mourners
cry
at
his
club
.
"
I
got
this
box
at
old
Dives
's
sale
,
"
Pincher
says
,
handing
it
round
,
"
one
of
Louis
XV
's
mistresses
--
pretty
thing
,
is
it
not
?
--
sweet
miniature
,
"
and
they
talk
of
the
way
in
which
young
Dives
is
dissipating
his
fortune
.
How
changed
the
house
is
,
though
!
The
front
is
patched
over
with
bills
,
setting
forth
the
particulars
of
the
furniture
in
staring
capitals
.
They
have
hung
a
shred
of
carpet
out
of
an
upstairs
window
--
a
half
dozen
of
porters
are
lounging
on
the
dirty
steps
--
the
hall
swarms
with
dingy
guests
of
oriental
countenance
,
who
thrust
printed
cards
into
your
hand
,
and
offer
to
bid
.
Old
women
and
amateurs
have
invaded
the
upper
apartments
,
pinching
the
bed-curtains
,
poking
into
the
feathers
,
shampooing
the
mattresses
,
and
clapping
the
wardrobe
drawers
to
and
fro
.
Enterprising
young
housekeepers
are
measuring
the
looking-glasses
and
hangings
to
see
if
they
will
suit
the
new
menage
(
Snob
will
brag
for
years
that
he
has
purchased
this
or
that
at
Dives
's
sale
)
,
and
Mr.
Hammerdown
is
sitting
on
the
great
mahogany
dining-tables
,
in
the
dining-room
below
,
waving
the
ivory
hammer
,
and
employing
all
the
artifices
of
eloquence
,
enthusiasm
,
entreaty
,
reason
,
despair
;
shouting
to
his
people
;
satirizing
Mr.
Davids
for
his
sluggishness
;
inspiriting
Mr.
Moss
into
action
;
imploring
,
commanding
,
bellowing
,
until
down
comes
the
hammer
like
fate
,
and
we
pass
to
the
next
lot
.
O
Dives
,
who
would
ever
have
thought
,
as
we
sat
round
the
broad
table
sparkling
with
plate
and
spotless
linen
,
to
have
seen
such
a
dish
at
the
head
of
it
as
that
roaring
auctioneer
?
It
was
rather
late
in
the
sale
.
The
excellent
drawing-room
furniture
by
the
best
makers
;
the
rare
and
famous
wines
selected
,
regardless
of
cost
,
and
with
the
well-known
taste
of
the
purchaser
;
the
rich
and
complete
set
of
family
plate
had
been
sold
on
the
previous
days
.
Certain
of
the
best
wines
(
which
all
had
a
great
character
among
amateurs
in
the
neighbourhood
)
had
been
purchased
for
his
master
,
who
knew
them
very
well
,
by
the
butler
of
our
friend
John
Osborne
,
Esquire
,
of
Russell
Square
.
A
small
portion
of
the
most
useful
articles
of
the
plate
had
been
bought
by
some
young
stockbrokers
from
the
City
.
And
now
the
public
being
invited
to
the
purchase
of
minor
objects
,
it
happened
that
the
orator
on
the
table
was
expatiating
on
the
merits
of
a
picture
,
which
he
sought
to
recommend
to
his
audience
:
it
was
by
no
means
so
select
or
numerous
a
company
as
had
attended
the
previous
days
of
the
auction
.
"
No.
369
,
"
roared
Mr.
Hammerdown
.
"
Portrait
of
a
gentleman
on
an
elephant
.
Who
'll
bid
for
the
gentleman
on
the
elephant
?
Lift
up
the
picture
,
Blowman
,
and
let
the
company
examine
this
lot
.
"
A
long
,
pale
,
military-looking
gentleman
,
seated
demurely
at
the
mahogany
table
,
could
not
help
grinning
as
this
valuable
lot
was
shown
by
Mr.
Blowman
.
"
Turn
the
elephant
to
the
Captain
,
Blowman
.
What
shall
we
say
,
sir
,
for
the
elephant
?
"
but
the
Captain
,
blushing
in
a
very
hurried
and
discomfited
manner
,
turned
away
his
head
.
"
Shall
we
say
twenty
guineas
for
this
work
of
art
?
--
fifteen
,
five
,
name
your
own
price
.
The
gentleman
without
the
elephant
is
worth
five
pound
.
"
"
I
wonder
it
ai
n't
come
down
with
him
,
"
said
a
professional
wag
,
"
he
's
anyhow
a
precious
big
one
"
;
at
which
(
for
the
elephant-rider
was
represented
as
of
a
very
stout
figure
)
there
was
a
general
giggle
in
the
room
.
