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941
Boundaries
942
Once
upon
a
time
,
there
were
two
youngsters
,
a
boy
and
a
girl
.
Their
families
hated
each
other
.
But
the
boy
snuck
into
a
party
hosted
by
the
girl
s
family
because
he
was
kind
of
a
dick
.
The
girl
sees
the
boy
,
and
angels
sing
so
sweetly
to
her
lady
-
parts
that
she
instantly
falls
in
love
with
him
.
Just
like
that
.
And
so
he
sneaks
into
her
garden
and
they
decide
to
get
married
the
next
freaking
day
,
because
,
you
know
,
that
s
totally
practical
,
especially
when
your
parents
want
to
murder
each
other
.
Jump
ahead
a
few
days
.
Their
families
find
out
about
the
marriage
and
throw
a
shit
-
fit
.
Mercutio
dies
.
The
girl
is
so
upset
that
she
drinks
a
potion
that
will
put
her
to
sleep
for
two
days
.
But
,
unfortunately
,
the
young
couple
hasn
t
learned
the
ins
and
outs
of
good
marital
communication
yet
,
and
the
young
girl
totally
forgets
to
mention
something
about
it
to
her
new
husband
.
The
young
man
therefore
mistakes
his
new
wife
s
self
-
induced
coma
for
suicide
.
He
then
totally
loses
his
marbles
and
he
commits
suicide
,
thinking
he
s
going
to
be
with
her
in
the
afterlife
or
some
shit
.
943
But
then
she
wakes
up
from
her
two
-
day
coma
,
only
to
learn
that
her
new
husband
has
committed
suicide
,
so
she
has
the
exact
same
idea
and
kills
herself
too
.
The
end
.
Отключить рекламу
944
Romeo
and
Juliet
is
synonymous
with
romance
in
our
culture
today
.
It
is
seen
as
the
love
story
in
English
-
speaking
culture
,
an
emotional
ideal
to
live
up
to
.
Yet
when
you
really
get
down
to
what
happens
in
the
story
,
these
kids
are
absolutely
out
of
their
fucking
minds
.
And
they
just
killed
themselves
to
prove
it
!
945
It
s
suspected
by
many
scholars
that
Shakespeare
wrote
Romeo
and
Juliet
not
to
celebrate
romance
,
but
rather
to
satirize
it
,
to
show
how
absolutely
nutty
it
was
.
He
didn
t
mean
for
the
play
to
be
a
glorification
of
love
.
In
fact
,
he
meant
it
to
be
the
opposite
:
a
big
flashing
neon
sign
blinking
KEEP
OUT
,
with
police
tape
around
it
saying
DO
NOT
CROSS
.
946
For
most
of
human
history
,
romantic
love
was
not
celebrated
as
it
is
now
.
In
fact
,
up
until
the
mid
-
nineteenth
century
or
so
,
love
was
seen
as
an
unnecessary
and
potentially
dangerous
psychological
impediment
to
the
more
important
things
in
life
you
know
,
like
farming
well
and
/
or
marrying
a
guy
with
a
lot
of
sheep
.
Young
people
were
often
forcibly
steered
clear
of
their
romantic
passions
in
favor
of
practical
economic
marriages
that
would
yield
stability
for
both
them
and
their
families
.
947
But
today
,
we
all
get
brain
boners
for
this
kind
of
batshit
crazy
love
.
It
dominates
our
culture
.
And
the
more
dramatic
,
the
better
.
Отключить рекламу
948
Whether
it
s
Ben
Affleck
working
to
destroy
an
asteroid
to
save
the
earth
for
the
girl
he
loves
,
or
Mel
Gibson
murdering
hundreds
of
Englishmen
and
fantasizing
about
his
raped
and
murdered
wife
while
being
tortured
to
death
,
or
that
Elven
chick
giving
up
her
immortality
to
be
with
Aragorn
in
Lord
of
the
Rings
,
or
stupid
romantic
comedies
where
Jimmy
Fallon
forgoes
his
Red
Sox
playoff
tickets
because
Drew
Barrymore
has
,
like
,
needs
or
something
.
949
If
this
sort
of
romantic
love
were
cocaine
,
then
as
a
culture
we
d
all
be
like
Tony
Montana
in
Scarface
:
burying
our
faces
in
a
fucking
mountain
of
it
,
screaming
,
Say
hello
to
my
lee
-
tle
friend
!
950
The
problem
is
that
we
re
finding
out
that
romantic
love
is
kind
of
like
cocaine
.
Like
,
frighteningly
similar
to
cocaine
.
Like
,
stimulates
the
exact
same
parts
of
your
brain
as
cocaine
.
Like
,
gets
you
high
and
makes
you
feel
good
for
a
while
but
also
creates
as
many
problems
as
it
solves
,
as
does
cocaine
.