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781
As
a
general
rule
,
we
re
all
the
world
s
worst
observers
of
ourselves
.
When
we
re
angry
,
or
jealous
,
or
upset
,
we
re
oftentimes
the
last
ones
to
figure
it
out
.
And
the
only
way
to
figure
it
out
is
to
put
cracks
in
our
armor
of
certainty
by
consistently
questioning
how
wrong
we
might
be
about
ourselves
.
782
Am
I
jealous
and
if
I
am
,
then
why
?
Am
I
angry
?
Is
she
right
,
and
I
m
just
protecting
my
ego
?
783
Questions
like
these
need
to
become
a
mental
habit
.
In
many
cases
,
the
simple
act
of
asking
ourselves
such
questions
generates
the
humility
and
compassion
needed
to
resolve
a
lot
of
our
issues
.
Отключить рекламу
784
But
it
s
important
to
note
that
just
because
you
ask
yourself
if
you
have
the
wrong
idea
doesn
t
necessarily
mean
that
you
do
.
If
your
husband
beats
the
crap
out
of
you
for
burning
the
pot
roast
and
you
ask
yourself
if
you
re
wrong
to
believe
he
s
mistreating
you
well
,
sometimes
you
re
right
.
The
goal
is
merely
to
ask
the
question
and
entertain
the
thought
at
the
moment
,
not
to
hate
yourself
.
785
It
s
worth
remembering
that
for
any
change
to
happen
in
your
life
,
you
must
be
wrong
about
something
.
If
you
re
sitting
there
,
miserable
day
after
day
,
then
that
means
you
re
already
wrong
about
something
major
in
your
life
,
and
until
you
re
able
to
question
yourself
to
find
it
,
nothing
will
change
.
786
Question
#
2
:
What
would
it
mean
if
I
were
wrong
?
787
Many
people
are
able
to
ask
themselves
if
they
re
wrong
,
but
few
are
able
to
go
the
extra
step
and
admit
what
it
would
mean
if
they
were
wrong
.
That
s
because
the
potential
meaning
behind
our
wrongness
is
often
painful
.
Not
only
does
it
call
into
question
our
values
,
but
it
forces
us
to
consider
what
a
different
,
contradictory
value
could
potentially
look
and
feel
like
.
Отключить рекламу
788
Aristotle
wrote
,
It
is
the
mark
of
an
educated
mind
to
be
able
to
entertain
a
thought
without
accepting
it
.
Being
able
to
look
at
and
evaluate
different
values
without
necessarily
adopting
them
is
perhaps
the
central
skill
required
in
changing
one
s
own
life
in
a
meaningful
way
.
789
As
for
my
friend
s
brother
,
his
question
to
himself
should
be
,
What
would
it
mean
if
I
were
wrong
about
my
sister
s
wedding
?
Often
the
answer
to
such
a
question
is
pretty
straightforward
(
and
some
form
of
I
m
being
a
selfish
/
insecure
/
narcissistic
asshole
)
.
If
he
is
wrong
,
and
his
sister
s
engagement
is
fine
and
healthy
and
happy
,
there
s
really
no
way
to
explain
his
own
behavior
other
than
through
his
own
insecurities
and
fucked
-
up
values
.
He
assumes
that
he
knows
what
s
best
for
his
sister
and
that
she
can
t
make
major
life
decisions
for
herself
;
he
assumes
that
he
has
the
right
and
responsibility
to
make
decisions
for
her
;
he
is
certain
that
he
s
right
and
everyone
else
must
be
wrong
.
790
Even
once
uncovered
,
whether
in
my
friend
s
brother
or
in
ourselves
,
that
sort
of
entitlement
is
hard
to
admit
.
It
hurts
.
That
s
why
few
people
ask
the
difficult
questions
.
But
probing
questions
are
necessary
in
order
to
get
at
the
core
problems
that
are
motivating
his
,
and
our
,
dickish
behavior
.