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11
See
,
despite
the
book
sales
and
the
fame
,
Bukowski
was
a
loser
.
He
knew
it
.
And
his
success
stemmed
not
from
some
determination
to
be
a
winner
,
but
from
the
fact
that
he
knew
he
was
a
loser
,
accepted
it
,
and
then
wrote
honestly
about
it
.
He
never
tried
to
be
anything
other
than
what
he
was
.
The
genius
in
Bukowski
s
work
was
not
in
overcoming
unbelievable
odds
or
developing
himself
into
a
shining
literary
light
.
It
was
the
opposite
.
12
It
was
his
simple
ability
to
be
completely
,
unflinchingly
honest
with
himself
especially
the
worst
parts
of
himself
and
to
share
his
failings
without
hesitation
or
doubt
.
13
This
is
the
real
story
of
Bukowski
s
success
:
his
comfort
with
himself
as
a
failure
.
Bukowski
didn
t
give
a
fuck
about
success
.
Even
after
his
fame
,
he
still
showed
up
to
poetry
readings
hammered
and
verbally
abused
people
in
his
audience
.
He
still
exposed
himself
in
public
and
tried
to
sleep
with
every
woman
he
could
find
.
Fame
and
success
didn
t
make
him
a
better
person
.
Nor
was
it
by
becoming
a
better
person
that
he
became
famous
and
successful
.
Отключить рекламу
14
Self
-
improvement
and
success
often
occur
together
.
But
that
doesn
t
necessarily
mean
they
re
the
same
thing
.
15
Our
culture
today
is
obsessively
focused
on
unrealistically
positive
expectations
:
Be
happier
.
Be
healthier
.
Be
the
best
,
better
than
the
rest
.
Be
smarter
,
faster
,
richer
,
sexier
,
more
popular
,
more
productive
,
more
envied
,
and
more
admired
.
Be
perfect
and
amazing
and
crap
out
twelve
-
karat
-
gold
nuggets
before
breakfast
each
morning
while
kissing
your
selfie
-
ready
spouse
and
two
and
a
half
kids
goodbye
.
Then
fly
your
helicopter
to
your
wonderfully
fulfilling
job
,
where
you
spend
your
days
doing
incredibly
meaningful
work
that
s
likely
to
save
the
planet
one
day
.
16
But
when
you
stop
and
really
think
about
it
,
conventional
life
advice
all
the
positive
and
happy
self
-
help
stuff
we
hear
all
the
time
is
actually
fixating
on
what
you
lack
.
17
It
lasers
in
on
what
you
perceive
your
personal
shortcomings
and
failures
to
already
be
,
and
then
emphasizes
them
for
you
.
You
learn
about
the
best
ways
to
make
money
because
you
feel
you
don
t
have
enough
money
already
.
You
stand
in
front
of
the
mirror
and
repeat
affirmations
saying
that
you
re
beautiful
because
you
feel
as
though
you
re
not
beautiful
already
.
You
follow
dating
and
relationship
advice
because
you
feel
that
you
re
unlovable
already
.
You
try
goofy
visualization
exercises
about
being
more
successful
because
you
feel
as
though
you
aren
t
successful
enough
already
.
Отключить рекламу
18
Ironically
,
this
fixation
on
the
positive
on
what
s
better
,
what
s
superior
only
serves
to
remind
us
over
and
over
again
of
what
we
are
not
,
of
what
we
lack
,
of
what
we
should
have
been
but
failed
to
be
.
After
all
,
no
truly
happy
person
feels
the
need
to
stand
in
front
of
a
mirror
and
recite
that
she
s
happy
.
She
just
is
.
19
There
s
a
saying
in
Texas
:
The
smallest
dog
barks
the
loudest
.
A
confident
man
doesn
t
feel
a
need
to
prove
that
he
s
confident
.
A
rich
woman
doesn
t
feel
a
need
to
convince
anybody
that
she
s
rich
.
Either
you
are
or
you
are
not
.
And
if
you
re
dreaming
of
something
all
the
time
,
then
you
re
reinforcing
the
same
unconscious
reality
over
and
over
:
that
you
are
not
that
.
20
Everyone
and
their
TV
commercial
wants
you
to
believe
that
the
key
to
a
good
life
is
a
nicer
job
,
or
a
more
rugged
car
,
or
a
prettier
girlfriend
,
or
a
hot
tub
with
an
inflatable
pool
for
the
kids
.