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161
Sometimes
those
problems
are
simple
:
eating
good
food
,
traveling
to
some
new
place
,
winning
at
the
new
video
game
you
just
bought
.
Other
times
those
problems
are
abstract
and
complicated
:
fixing
your
relationship
with
your
mother
,
finding
a
career
you
can
feel
good
about
,
developing
better
friendships
.
162
Whatever
your
problems
are
,
the
concept
is
the
same
:
solve
problems
;
be
happy
.
163
Unfortunately
,
for
many
people
,
life
doesn
t
feel
that
simple
.
That
s
because
they
fuck
things
up
in
at
least
one
of
two
ways
:
Отключить рекламу
164
1
.
Denial
.
Some
people
deny
that
their
problems
exist
in
the
first
place
.
And
because
they
deny
reality
,
they
must
constantly
delude
or
distract
themselves
from
reality
.
This
may
make
them
feel
good
in
the
short
term
,
but
it
leads
to
a
life
of
insecurity
,
neuroticism
,
and
emotional
repression
.
165
2
.
Victim
Mentality
.
Some
choose
to
believe
that
there
is
nothing
they
can
do
to
solve
their
problems
,
even
when
they
in
fact
could
.
Victims
seek
to
blame
others
for
their
problems
or
blame
outside
circumstances
.
This
may
make
them
feel
better
in
the
short
term
,
but
it
leads
to
a
life
of
anger
,
helplessness
,
and
despair
.
166
People
deny
and
blame
others
for
their
problems
for
the
simple
reason
that
it
s
easy
and
feels
good
,
while
solving
problems
is
hard
and
often
feels
bad
.
Forms
of
blame
and
denial
give
us
a
quick
high
.
They
are
a
way
to
temporarily
escape
our
problems
,
and
that
escape
can
provide
us
a
quick
rush
that
makes
us
feel
better
.
167
Highs
come
in
many
forms
.
Whether
it
s
a
substance
like
alcohol
,
the
moral
righteousness
that
comes
from
blaming
others
,
or
the
thrill
of
some
new
risky
adventure
,
highs
are
shallow
and
unproductive
ways
to
go
about
one
s
life
.
Much
of
the
self
-
help
world
is
predicated
on
peddling
highs
to
people
rather
than
solving
legitimate
problems
.
Many
self
-
help
gurus
teach
you
new
forms
of
denial
and
pump
you
up
with
exercises
that
feel
good
in
the
short
term
,
while
ignoring
the
underlying
issue
.
Отключить рекламу
168
Remember
,
nobody
who
is
actually
happy
has
to
stand
in
front
of
a
mirror
and
tell
himself
that
he
s
happy
.
169
Highs
also
generate
addiction
.
The
more
you
rely
on
them
to
feel
better
about
your
underlying
problems
,
the
more
you
will
seek
them
out
.
In
this
sense
,
almost
anything
can
become
addictive
,
depending
on
the
motivation
behind
using
it
.
We
all
have
our
chosen
methods
to
numb
the
pain
of
our
problems
,
and
in
moderate
doses
there
is
nothing
wrong
with
this
.
But
the
longer
we
avoid
and
the
longer
we
numb
,
the
more
painful
it
will
be
when
we
finally
do
confront
our
issues
.
170
Emotions
Are
Overrated