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Отмена
This
new
feeling
has
not
changed
me
,
has
not
made
me
happy
and
enlightened
all
of
a
sudden
,
as
I
had
dreamed
,
just
like
the
feeling
for
my
child
.
There
was
no
surprise
in
this
either
.
Faith
or
not
faith
I
don
t
know
what
it
is
but
this
feeling
has
come
just
as
imperceptibly
through
suffering
,
and
has
taken
firm
root
in
my
soul
.
I
shall
go
on
in
the
same
way
,
losing
my
temper
with
Ivan
the
coachman
,
falling
into
angry
discussions
,
expressing
my
opinions
tactlessly
;
there
will
be
still
the
same
wall
between
the
holy
of
holies
of
my
soul
and
other
people
,
even
my
wife
;
I
shall
still
go
on
scolding
her
for
my
own
terror
,
and
being
remorseful
for
it
;
I
shall
still
be
as
unable
to
understand
with
my
reason
why
I
pray
,
and
I
shall
still
go
on
praying
;
but
my
life
now
,
my
whole
life
apart
from
anything
that
can
happen
to
me
,
every
minute
of
it
is
no
more
meaningless
,
as
it
was
before
,
but
it
has
the
positive
meaning
of
goodness
,
which
I
have
the
power
to
put
into
it
.