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I
thought
he
'd
be
real
disappointed
,
but
when
I
stepped
back
he
was
all
grins
and
pointing
to
where
the
panel
was
off
its
mooring
by
half
a
foot
.
"
Better
set
her
back
where
she
came
from
,
buddy
,
so
nobody
'll
know
.
Must
n't
let
anybody
know
yet
.
"
Then
,
after
the
meeting
,
loafing
around
the
pinochle
games
,
he
worked
the
talk
around
to
strength
and
gut-power
and
to
the
control
panel
in
the
tub
room
.
I
thought
he
was
going
to
tell
them
how
he
'd
helped
me
get
my
size
back
;
that
would
prove
he
did
n't
do
everything
for
money
.
But
he
did
n't
mention
me
.
He
talked
until
Harding
asked
him
if
he
was
ready
to
have
another
try
at
lifting
it
and
he
said
no
,
but
just
because
he
could
n't
lift
it
was
no
sign
it
could
n't
be
done
.
Scanlon
said
maybe
it
could
be
done
with
a
crane
,
but
no
man
could
lift
that
thing
by
himself
,
and
McMurphy
nodded
and
said
maybe
so
,
maybe
so
,
but
you
never
can
tell
about
such
things
.
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I
watched
the
way
he
played
them
,
got
them
to
come
around
to
him
and
say
,
No
,
by
Jesus
,
not
a
man
alive
could
lift
it
--
finally
even
suggest
the
bet
themselves
.
I
watched
how
reluctant
he
looked
to
bet
.
He
let
the
odds
stack
up
,
sucked
them
in
deeper
and
deeper
till
he
had
five
to
one
on
a
sure
thing
from
every
man
of
them
,
some
of
them
betting
up
to
twenty
dollars
.
He
never
said
a
thing
about
seeing
me
lift
it
already
.
All
night
I
hoped
he
would
n't
go
through
with
it
.
And
during
the
meeting
the
next
day
,
when
the
nurse
said
all
the
men
who
participated
in
the
fishing
trip
would
have
to
take
special
showers
because
they
were
suspected
of
vermin
,
I
kept
hoping
she
'd
fix
it
somehow
,
make
us
take
our
showers
right
away
or
something
--
anything
to
keep
me
from
having
to
lift
it
.
But
when
the
meeting
was
over
he
led
me
and
the
rest
of
the
guys
into
the
tub
room
before
the
black
boys
could
lock
it
up
,
and
had
me
take
the
panel
by
the
levers
and
lift
.
I
did
n't
want
to
,
but
I
could
n't
help
it
.
I
felt
like
I
'd
helped
him
cheat
them
out
of
their
money
.
They
were
all
friendly
with
him
as
they
paid
their
bets
,
but
I
knew
how
they
were
feeling
inside
,
how
something
had
been
kicked
out
from
under
them
.
As
soon
as
I
got
the
panel
back
in
place
,
I
ran
out
of
the
tub
room
without
even
looking
at
McMurphy
and
went
into
the
latrine
.
I
wanted
to
be
by
myself
.
I
caught
a
look
at
myself
in
the
mirror
.
He
'd
done
what
he
said
;
my
arms
were
big
again
,
big
as
they
were
back
in
high
school
,
back
at
the
village
,
and
my
chest
and
shoulders
were
broad
and
hard
.
I
was
standing
there
looking
when
he
came
in
.
He
held
out
a
five-dollar
bill
.
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"
Here
you
go
,
Chief
,
chewin
'
-
gum
money
.
"
I
shook
my
head
and
started
to
walk
out
of
the
latrine
.
He
caught
me
by
the
arm
.
"
Chief
,
I
just
offered
you
a
token
of
my
appreciation
.
If
you
figure
you
got
a
bigger
cut
comin
'
--
"