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831
I
had
to
act
with
the
utmost
circumspection
to
save
myself
from
the
suspicion
of
insanity
.
My
memory
of
the
Law
,
of
the
two
dead
sailors
,
of
the
ambuscades
of
the
darkness
,
of
the
body
in
the
canebrake
,
haunted
me
;
and
,
unnatural
as
it
seems
,
with
my
return
to
mankind
came
,
instead
of
that
confidence
and
sympathy
I
had
expected
,
a
strange
enhancement
of
the
uncertainty
and
dread
I
had
experienced
during
my
stay
upon
the
island
.
No
one
would
believe
me
;
I
was
almost
as
queer
to
men
as
I
had
been
to
the
Beast
People
.
I
may
have
caught
something
of
the
natural
wildness
of
my
companions
.
They
say
that
terror
is
a
disease
,
and
anyhow
I
can
witness
that
for
several
years
now
a
restless
fear
has
dwelt
in
my
mind
,
--
such
a
restless
fear
as
a
half-tamed
lion
cub
may
feel
.
832
My
trouble
took
the
strangest
form
.
I
could
not
persuade
myself
that
the
men
and
women
I
met
were
not
also
another
Beast
People
,
animals
half
wrought
into
the
outward
image
of
human
souls
,
and
that
they
would
presently
begin
to
revert
,
--
to
show
first
this
bestial
mark
and
then
that
.
But
I
have
confided
my
case
to
a
strangely
able
man
,
--
a
man
who
had
known
Moreau
,
and
seemed
half
to
credit
my
story
;
a
mental
specialist
,
--
and
he
has
helped
me
mightily
,
though
I
do
not
expect
that
the
terror
of
that
island
will
ever
altogether
leave
me
.
At
most
times
it
lies
far
in
the
back
of
my
mind
,
a
mere
distant
cloud
,
a
memory
,
and
a
faint
distrust
;
but
there
are
times
when
the
little
cloud
spreads
until
it
obscures
the
whole
sky
.
833
Then
I
look
about
me
at
my
fellow-men
;
and
I
go
in
fear
.
I
see
faces
,
keen
and
bright
;
others
dull
or
dangerous
;
others
,
unsteady
,
insincere
,
--
none
that
have
the
calm
authority
of
a
reasonable
soul
.
I
feel
as
though
the
animal
was
surging
up
through
them
;
that
presently
the
degradation
of
the
Islanders
will
be
played
over
again
on
a
larger
scale
.
I
know
this
is
an
illusion
;
that
these
seeming
men
and
women
about
me
are
indeed
men
and
women
,
--
men
and
women
for
ever
,
perfectly
reasonable
creatures
,
full
of
human
desires
and
tender
solicitude
,
emancipated
from
instinct
and
the
slaves
of
no
fantastic
Law
,
--
beings
altogether
different
from
the
Beast
Folk
.
Yet
I
shrink
from
them
,
from
their
curious
glances
,
their
inquiries
and
assistance
,
and
long
to
be
away
from
them
and
alone
.
For
that
reason
I
live
near
the
broad
free
downland
,
and
can
escape
thither
when
this
shadow
is
over
my
soul
;
and
very
sweet
is
the
empty
downland
then
,
under
the
wind-swept
sky
.
Отключить рекламу
834
When
I
lived
in
London
the
horror
was
well-nigh
insupportable
.
I
could
not
get
away
from
men
:
their
voices
came
through
windows
;
locked
doors
were
flimsy
safeguards
.
I
would
go
out
into
the
streets
to
fight
with
my
delusion
,
and
prowling
women
would
mew
after
me
;
furtive
,
craving
men
glance
jealously
at
me
;
weary
,
pale
workers
go
coughing
by
me
with
tired
eyes
and
eager
paces
,
like
wounded
deer
dripping
blood
;
old
people
,
bent
and
dull
,
pass
murmuring
to
themselves
;
and
,
all
unheeding
,
a
ragged
tail
of
gibing
children
.
835
Then
I
would
turn
aside
into
some
chapel
,
--
and
even
there
,
such
was
my
disturbance
,
it
seemed
that
the
preacher
gibbered
"
Big
Thinks
,
"
even
as
the
Ape-man
had
done
;
or
into
some
library
,
and
there
the
intent
faces
over
the
books
seemed
but
patient
creatures
waiting
for
prey
.
Particularly
nauseous
were
the
blank
,
expressionless
faces
of
people
in
trains
and
omnibuses
;
they
seemed
no
more
my
fellow-creatures
than
dead
bodies
would
be
,
so
that
I
did
not
dare
to
travel
unless
I
was
assured
of
being
alone
.
And
even
it
seemed
that
I
too
was
not
a
reasonable
creature
,
but
only
an
animal
tormented
with
some
strange
disorder
in
its
brain
which
sent
it
to
wander
alone
,
like
a
sheep
stricken
with
gid
.
836
This
is
a
mood
,
however
,
that
comes
to
me
now
,
I
thank
God
,
more
rarely
.
I
have
withdrawn
myself
from
the
confusion
of
cities
and
multitudes
,
and
spend
my
days
surrounded
by
wise
books
,
--
bright
windows
in
this
life
of
ours
,
lit
by
the
shining
souls
of
men
.
I
see
few
strangers
,
and
have
but
a
small
household
.
My
days
I
devote
to
reading
and
to
experiments
in
chemistry
,
and
I
spend
many
of
the
clear
nights
in
the
study
of
astronomy
.
There
is
--
though
I
do
not
know
how
there
is
or
why
there
is
--
a
sense
of
infinite
peace
and
protection
in
the
glittering
hosts
of
heaven
.
There
it
must
be
,
I
think
,
in
the
vast
and
eternal
laws
of
matter
,
and
not
in
the
daily
cares
and
sins
and
troubles
of
men
,
that
whatever
is
more
than
animal
within
us
must
find
its
solace
and
its
hope
.
I
hope
,
or
I
could
not
live
837
And
so
,
in
hope
and
solitude
,
my
story
ends
.
Отключить рекламу
838
Edward
Prendick
.