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“
Oh
,
that
’
s
not
it
,
that
’
s
not
it
,
”
Sonia
cried
in
distress
.
“
How
could
one
.
.
.
no
,
that
’
s
not
right
,
not
right
.
”
“
You
see
yourself
that
it
’
s
not
right
.
But
I
’
ve
spoken
truly
,
it
’
s
the
truth
.
”
“
As
though
that
could
be
the
truth
!
Good
God
!
”
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“
I
’
ve
only
killed
a
louse
,
Sonia
,
a
useless
,
loathsome
,
harmful
creature
.
”
“
A
human
being
—
a
louse
!
”
“
I
too
know
it
wasn
’
t
a
louse
,
”
he
answered
,
looking
strangely
at
her
.
“
But
I
am
talking
nonsense
,
Sonia
,
”
he
added
.
“
I
’
ve
been
talking
nonsense
a
long
time
.
.
.
.
That
’
s
not
it
,
you
are
right
there
.
There
were
quite
,
quite
other
causes
for
it
!
I
haven
’
t
talked
to
anyone
for
so
long
,
Sonia
.
.
.
.
My
head
aches
dreadfully
now
.
”
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His
eyes
shone
with
feverish
brilliance
.
He
was
almost
delirious
;
an
uneasy
smile
strayed
on
his
lips
.
His
terrible
exhaustion
could
be
seen
through
his
excitement
.
Sonia
saw
how
he
was
suffering
.
She
too
was
growing
dizzy
.
And
he
talked
so
strangely
;
it
seemed
somehow
comprehensible
,
but
yet
.
.
.
“
But
how
,
how
!
Good
God
!
”
And
she
wrung
her
hands
in
despair
.
“
No
,
Sonia
,
that
’
s
not
it
,
”
he
began
again
suddenly
,
raising
his
head
,
as
though
a
new
and
sudden
train
of
thought
had
struck
and
as
it
were
roused
him
—
“
that
’
s
not
it
!
Better
.
.
.
imagine
—
yes
,
it
’
s
certainly
better
—
imagine
that
I
am
vain
,
envious
,
malicious
,
base
,
vindictive
and
.
.
.
well
,
perhaps
with
a
tendency
to
insanity
.
(
Let
’
s
have
it
all
out
at
once
!
They
’
ve
talked
of
madness
already
,
I
noticed
.
)
I
told
you
just
now
I
could
not
keep
myself
at
the
university
.
But
do
you
know
that
perhaps
I
might
have
done
?
My
mother
would
have
sent
me
what
I
needed
for
the
fees
and
I
could
have
earned
enough
for
clothes
,
boots
and
food
,
no
doubt
.
Lessons
had
turned
up
at
half
a
rouble
.
Razumihin
works
!
But
I
turned
sulky
and
wouldn
’
t
.
(
Yes
,
sulkiness
,
that
’
s
the
right
word
for
it
!
)
I
sat
in
my
room
like
a
spider
.
You
’
ve
been
in
my
den
,
you
’
ve
seen
it
.
.
.
.
And
do
you
know
,
Sonia
,
that
low
ceilings
and
tiny
rooms
cramp
the
soul
and
the
mind
?
Ah
,
how
I
hated
that
garret
!
And
yet
I
wouldn
’
t
go
out
of
it
!
I
wouldn
’
t
on
purpose
!
I
didn
’
t
go
out
for
days
together
,
and
I
wouldn
’
t
work
,
I
wouldn
’
t
even
eat
,
I
just
lay
there
doing
nothing
.
If
Nastasya
brought
me
anything
,
I
ate
it
,
if
she
didn
’
t
,
I
went
all
day
without
;
I
wouldn
’
t
ask
,
on
purpose
,
from
sulkiness
!
At
night
I
had
no
light
,
I
lay
in
the
dark
and
I
wouldn
’
t
earn
money
for
candles
.
I
ought
to
have
studied
,
but
I
sold
my
books
;
and
the
dust
lies
an
inch
thick
on
the
notebooks
on
my
table
.
I
preferred
lying
still
and
thinking
.
And
I
kept
thinking
.
.
.
.
And
I
had
dreams
all
the
time
,
strange
dreams
of
all
sorts
,
no
need
to
describe
!
Only
then
I
began
to
fancy
that
.
.
.
No
,
that
’
s
not
it
!
Again
I
am
telling
you
wrong
!
You
see
I
kept
asking
myself
then
:
why
am
I
so
stupid
that
if
others
are
stupid
—
and
I
know
they
are
—
yet
I
won
’
t
be
wiser
?
Then
I
saw
,
Sonia
,
that
if
one
waits
for
everyone
to
get
wiser
it
will
take
too
long
.
.
.
.
Afterwards
I
understood
that
that
would
never
come
to
pass
,
that
men
won
’
t
change
and
that
nobody
can
alter
it
and
that
it
’
s
not
worth
wasting
effort
over
it
.
Yes
,
that
’
s
so
.
That
’
s
the
law
of
their
nature
,
Sonia
,
.
.
.
that
’
s
so
!
.
.
.
And
I
know
now
,
Sonia
,
that
whoever
is
strong
in
mind
and
spirit
will
have
power
over
them
.
Anyone
who
is
greatly
daring
is
right
in
their
eyes
.