Reedle Откройте в мобильном приложении
Понятно
Понятно
Для того чтобы воспользоваться закладками, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Для того чтобы воспользоваться озвучкой предложений, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Озвучка предложений доступна при наличии PRO-доступа
Купить PRO-доступ
Отмена
81
Go
back
to
bed
,
Liz
.
82
In
a
way
,
this
little
episode
had
all
the
hallmarks
of
a
typical
Christian
conversion
experience
-
the
dark
night
of
the
soul
,
the
call
for
help
,
the
responding
voice
,
the
sense
of
transformation
.
But
I
would
not
say
that
this
was
a
religious
conversion
for
me
,
not
in
that
traditional
manner
of
being
born
again
or
saved
.
Instead
,
I
would
call
what
happened
that
night
the
beginning
of
a
religious
conversation
.
The
first
words
of
an
open
and
exploratory
dialogue
that
would
,
ultimately
,
bring
me
very
close
to
God
,
indeed
.
83
If
I
d
had
any
way
of
knowing
that
things
were
-
as
Lily
Tomlin
once
said
-
going
to
get
a
whole
lot
worse
before
they
got
worse
,
I
m
not
sure
how
well
I
would
have
slept
that
night
.
But
seven
very
difficult
months
later
,
I
did
leave
my
husband
.
When
I
finally
made
that
decision
,
I
thought
the
worst
of
it
was
over
.
This
only
shows
how
little
I
knew
about
divorce
.
Отключить рекламу
84
There
was
once
a
cartoon
in
The
New
Yorker
magazine
.
Two
women
talking
,
one
saying
to
the
other
:
"
If
you
really
want
to
get
to
know
someone
,
you
have
to
divorce
him
.
"
Of
course
,
my
experience
was
the
opposite
.
I
would
say
that
if
you
really
want
to
STOP
knowing
someone
,
you
have
to
divorce
him
.
Or
her
.
Because
this
is
what
happened
between
me
and
my
husband
.
I
believe
that
we
shocked
each
other
by
how
swiftly
we
went
from
being
the
people
who
knew
each
other
best
in
the
world
to
being
a
pair
of
the
most
mutually
incomprehensible
strangers
who
ever
lived
.
At
the
bottom
of
that
strangeness
was
the
abysmal
fact
that
we
were
both
doing
something
the
other
person
would
never
have
conceived
possible
;
he
never
dreamed
I
would
actually
leave
him
,
and
I
never
in
my
wildest
imagination
thought
he
would
make
it
so
difficult
for
me
to
go
.
85
It
was
my
most
sincere
belief
when
I
left
my
husband
that
we
could
settle
our
practical
affairs
in
a
few
hours
with
a
calculator
,
some
common
sense
and
a
bit
of
goodwill
toward
the
person
we
d
once
loved
.
My
initial
suggestion
was
that
we
sell
the
house
and
divide
all
the
assets
fifty
-
fifty
;
it
never
occurred
to
me
we
d
proceed
in
any
other
way
.
He
didn
t
find
this
suggestion
fair
.
86
So
I
upped
my
offer
,
even
suggesting
this
different
kind
of
fifty
-
fifty
split
:
What
if
he
took
all
the
assets
and
I
took
all
the
blame
?
But
not
even
that
offer
would
bring
a
settlement
.
Now
I
was
at
a
loss
.
How
do
you
negotiate
once
you
ve
offered
everything
?
I
could
do
nothing
now
but
wait
for
his
counterproposal
.
My
guilt
at
having
left
him
forbade
me
from
thinking
I
should
be
allowed
to
keep
even
a
dime
of
the
money
I
d
made
in
the
last
decade
.
Moreover
,
my
newfound
spirituality
made
it
essential
to
me
that
we
not
battle
.
So
this
was
my
position
-
I
would
neither
defend
myself
from
him
,
nor
would
I
fight
him
.
For
the
longest
time
,
against
the
counsel
of
all
who
cared
about
me
,
I
resisted
even
consulting
a
lawyer
,
because
I
considered
even
that
to
be
an
act
of
war
.
I
wanted
to
be
all
Gandhi
about
this
.
I
wanted
to
be
all
Nelson
Mandela
about
this
.
Not
realizing
at
the
time
that
both
Gandhi
and
Mandela
were
lawyers
.
87
Months
passed
.
My
life
hung
in
limbo
as
I
waited
to
be
released
,
waited
to
see
what
the
terms
would
be
.
We
were
living
separately
(
he
had
moved
into
our
Manhattan
apartment
)
,
but
nothing
was
resolved
.
Bills
piled
up
,
careers
stalled
,
the
house
fell
into
ruin
and
my
husband
s
silences
were
broken
only
by
his
occasional
communications
reminding
me
what
a
criminal
jerk
I
was
.
Отключить рекламу
88
And
then
there
was
David
.
89
All
the
complications
and
traumas
of
those
ugly
divorce
years
were
multiplied
by
the
drama
of
David
-
the
guy
I
fell
in
love
with
as
I
was
taking
leave
of
my
marriage
.
90
Did
I
say
that
I
"
fell
in
love
"
with
David
?
What
I
meant
to
say
is
that
I
dove
out
of
my
marriage
and
into
David
s
arms
exactly
the
same
way
a
cartoon
circus
performer
dives
off
a
high
platform
and
into
a
small
cup
of
water
,
vanishing
completely
.
I
clung
to
David
for
escape
from
marriage
as
if
he
were
the
last
helicopter
pulling
out
of
Saigon
.
I
inflicted
upon
him
my
every
hope
for
my
salvation
and
happiness
.
And
,
yes
,
I
did
love
him
.
But
if
I
could
think
of
a
stronger
word
than
"
desperately
"
to
describe
how
I
loved
David
,
I
would
use
that
word
here
,
and
desperate
love
is
always
the
toughest
way
to
do
it
.