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"
Hearing
this
,
I
am
nauseated
with
envy
.
Then
again
,
Corella
has
been
practicing
Yoga
for
almost
as
many
years
as
I
’
ve
been
alive
.
I
ask
her
if
she
can
show
me
how
exactly
she
uses
Om
Namah
Shivaya
in
her
meditation
practice
.
Does
she
take
one
inhale
for
every
syllable
?
(
When
I
do
this
,
it
feels
really
interminable
and
annoying
.
)
Or
is
it
one
word
for
every
breath
?
(
But
the
words
are
all
different
lengths
!
So
how
do
you
even
it
out
?
)
Or
does
she
say
the
whole
mantra
once
on
the
inhale
,
then
once
again
on
the
exhale
?
(
Because
when
I
try
to
do
that
,
it
gets
all
speeded
up
and
I
get
anxious
.
)
"
I
don
’
t
know
,
"
Corella
says
.
"
I
just
kind
of
…
say
it
.
"
"
But
do
you
sing
it
?
"
I
push
,
desperate
now
.
"
Do
you
put
a
beat
on
it
?
"
"
I
just
say
it
.
"
"
Can
you
maybe
speak
aloud
for
me
the
way
you
say
it
in
your
head
when
you
’
re
meditating
?
"
Indulgently
,
my
roommate
closes
her
eyes
and
starts
saying
the
mantra
aloud
,
the
way
it
appears
in
her
head
.
And
,
indeed
,
she
’
s
just
…
saying
it
.
She
says
it
quietly
,
normally
,
smiling
slightly
.
She
says
it
a
few
times
,
in
fact
,
until
I
get
restless
and
cut
her
off
.
"
But
don
’
t
you
get
bored
?
"
I
ask
.
"
Ah
,
"
says
Corella
and
opens
her
eyes
,
smiling
.
She
looks
at
her
watch
.
"
Ten
seconds
have
passed
,
Liz
.
Bored
already
,
are
we
?
"
The
following
morning
,
I
arrive
right
on
time
for
the
4
:
00
AM
meditation
session
which
always
starts
the
day
here
.
We
are
meant
to
sit
for
an
hour
in
silence
,
but
I
log
the
minutes
as
if
they
are
miles
-
sixty
brutal
miles
that
I
have
to
endure
.
By
mile
/
minute
fourteen
,
my
nerves
have
started
to
go
,
my
knees
are
breaking
down
and
I
’
m
overcome
with
exasperation
.
Which
is
understandable
,
given
that
the
conversations
between
me
and
my
mind
during
meditation
generally
go
something
like
this
:
