Reedle Откройте в мобильном приложении
Понятно
Понятно
Для того чтобы воспользоваться закладками, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Для того чтобы воспользоваться озвучкой предложений, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Озвучка предложений доступна при наличии PRO-доступа
Купить PRO-доступ
Отмена
561
I
remember
going
to
a
party
in
New
York
around
that
time
.
A
couple
,
a
pair
of
successful
artists
,
had
just
had
a
baby
,
and
the
mother
was
celebrating
a
gallery
opening
of
her
new
paintings
.
I
remember
watching
this
woman
,
the
new
mother
,
my
friend
,
the
artist
,
as
she
tried
to
be
hostess
to
this
party
(
which
was
in
her
loft
)
at
the
same
time
as
taking
care
of
her
infant
and
trying
to
discuss
her
work
professionally
.
I
never
saw
somebody
look
so
sleep
-
deprived
in
my
life
.
I
can
never
forget
the
image
of
her
standing
in
her
kitchen
after
midnight
,
elbows
-
deep
in
a
sink
full
of
dishes
,
trying
to
clean
up
after
this
event
.
Her
husband
(
I
am
sorry
to
report
it
,
and
I
fully
realize
this
is
not
at
all
representational
of
every
husband
)
was
in
the
other
room
,
feet
literally
on
the
coffee
table
,
watching
TV
.
She
finally
asked
him
if
he
would
help
clean
the
kitchen
,
and
he
said
,
"
Leave
it
,
hon
-
we
ll
clean
up
in
the
morning
.
"
The
baby
started
crying
again
.
My
friend
was
leaking
breast
milk
through
her
cocktail
dress
.
562
Almost
certainly
,
other
people
who
attended
this
party
came
away
with
different
images
than
I
did
.
Any
number
of
the
other
guests
could
have
felt
great
envy
for
this
beautiful
woman
with
her
healthy
new
baby
,
for
her
successful
artistic
career
,
for
her
marriage
to
a
nice
man
,
for
her
lovely
apartment
,
for
her
cocktail
dress
.
There
were
people
at
this
party
who
would
probably
have
traded
lives
with
her
in
an
instant
,
given
the
chance
.
563
This
woman
herself
probably
looks
back
on
that
evening
-
if
she
ever
thinks
of
it
at
all
-
as
one
tiring
but
totally
worth
-
it
night
in
her
overall
satisfying
life
of
motherhood
and
marriage
and
career
.
All
I
can
say
for
myself
,
though
,
is
that
I
spent
that
whole
party
trembling
in
panic
,
thinking
,
If
you
don
t
recognize
that
this
is
your
future
,
Liz
,
then
you
are
out
of
your
mind
.
Do
not
let
it
happen
.
Отключить рекламу
564
But
did
I
have
a
responsibility
to
have
a
family
?
Oh
,
Lord
-
responsibility
.
That
word
worked
on
me
until
I
worked
on
it
,
until
I
looked
at
it
carefully
and
broke
it
down
into
the
two
words
that
make
its
true
definition
:
the
ability
to
respond
.
And
what
I
ultimately
had
to
respond
to
was
the
reality
that
every
speck
of
my
being
was
telling
me
to
get
out
of
my
marriage
.
Somewhere
inside
me
an
early
-
warning
system
was
forecasting
that
if
I
kept
trying
to
white
-
knuckle
my
way
through
this
storm
,
I
would
end
up
getting
cancer
.
And
that
if
I
brought
children
into
the
world
anyway
,
just
because
I
didn
t
want
to
deal
with
the
hassle
or
shame
of
revealing
some
impractical
facts
about
myself
-
this
would
be
an
act
of
grievous
irresponsibility
.
565
In
the
end
,
though
,
I
was
most
guided
by
something
my
friend
Sheryl
said
to
me
that
very
night
at
that
very
party
,
when
she
found
me
hiding
in
the
bathroom
of
our
friend
s
fancy
loft
,
shaking
in
fear
,
splashing
water
on
my
face
.
Sheryl
didn
t
know
then
what
was
going
on
in
my
marriage
.
Nobody
did
.
And
I
didn
t
tell
her
that
night
.
All
I
could
say
was
,
"
I
don
t
know
what
to
do
.
566
"
I
remember
her
taking
me
by
the
shoulders
and
looking
me
in
the
eye
with
a
calm
smile
and
saying
simply
,
"
Tell
the
truth
,
tell
the
truth
,
tell
the
truth
.
"
567
So
that
s
what
I
tried
to
do
.
Отключить рекламу
568
Getting
out
of
a
marriage
is
rough
,
though
,
and
not
just
for
the
legal
/
financial
complications
or
the
massive
lifestyle
upheaval
.
(
As
my
friend
Deborah
once
advised
me
wisely
:
"
Nobody
ever
died
from
splitting
up
furniture
.
"
)
It
s
the
emotional
recoil
that
kills
you
,
the
shock
of
stepping
off
the
track
of
a
conventional
lifestyle
and
losing
all
the
embracing
comforts
that
keep
so
many
people
on
that
track
forever
.
To
create
a
family
with
a
spouse
is
one
of
the
most
fundamental
ways
a
person
can
find
continuity
and
meaning
in
American
(
or
any
)
society
.
I
rediscover
this
truth
every
time
I
go
to
a
big
reunion
of
my
mother
s
family
in
Minnesota
and
I
see
how
everyone
is
held
so
reassuringly
in
their
positions
over
the
years
.
First
you
are
a
child
,
then
you
are
a
teenager
,
then
you
are
a
young
married
person
,
then
you
are
a
parent
,
then
you
are
retired
,
then
you
are
a
grandparent
-
at
every
stage
you
know
who
you
are
,
you
know
what
your
duty
is
and
you
know
where
to
sit
at
the
reunion
.
You
sit
with
the
other
children
,
or
teenagers
,
or
young
parents
,
or
retirees
.
Until
at
last
you
are
sitting
with
the
ninety
-
year
-
olds
in
the
shade
,
watching
over
your
progeny
with
satisfaction
.
Who
are
you
?
No
problem
-
you
re
the
person
who
created
all
this
.
The
satisfaction
of
this
knowledge
is
immediate
,
and
moreover
,
it
s
universally
recognized
.
569
How
many
people
have
I
heard
claim
their
children
as
the
greatest
accomplishment
and
comfort
of
their
lives
?
It
s
the
thing
they
can
always
lean
on
during
a
metaphysical
crisis
,
or
a
moment
of
doubt
about
their
relevancy
-
If
I
have
done
nothing
else
in
this
life
,
then
at
least
I
have
raised
my
children
well
.
570
But
what
if
,
either
by
choice
or
by
reluctant
necessity
,
you
end
up
not
participating
in
this
comforting
cycle
of
family
and
continuity
?
What
if
you
step
out
?
Where
do
you
sit
at
the
reunion
?
How
do
you
mark
time
s
passage
without
the
fear
that
you
ve
just
frittered
away
your
time
on
earth
without
being
relevant
?
You
ll
need
to
find
another
purpose
,
another
measure
by
which
to
judge
whether
or
not
you
have
been
a
successful
human
being
.
I
love
children
,
but
what
if
I
don
t
have
any
?
What
kind
of
person
does
that
make
me
?