Reedle Откройте в мобильном приложении
Понятно
Понятно
Для того чтобы воспользоваться закладками, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Для того чтобы воспользоваться озвучкой предложений, необходимо
Войти или зарегистрироваться
Отмена
Озвучка предложений доступна при наличии PRO-доступа
Купить PRO-доступ
Отмена
When
I
look
back
at
the
four
years
that
elapsed
between
my
marriage
starting
to
fall
apart
and
the
day
I
was
finally
divorced
and
free
,
I
see
a
detailed
chronicle
of
total
pain
.
And
the
moment
when
I
came
to
this
tiny
island
all
by
myself
was
the
very
worst
of
that
entire
dark
journey
.
The
bottom
of
the
pain
and
the
middle
of
it
.
My
unhappy
mind
was
a
battlefield
of
conflicted
demons
.
As
I
made
my
decision
to
spend
ten
days
alone
and
in
silence
in
the
middle
of
exactly
nowhere
,
I
told
all
my
warring
and
confused
parts
the
same
thing
:
"
We
re
all
here
together
now
,
guys
,
all
alone
.
And
we
re
going
to
have
to
work
out
some
kind
of
deal
for
how
to
get
along
,
or
else
everybody
is
going
to
die
together
,
sooner
or
later
.
"
Which
may
sound
firm
and
confident
,
but
I
must
admit
this
,
as
well
-
that
sailing
over
to
that
quiet
island
all
alone
,
I
was
never
more
terrified
in
my
life
.
I
hadn
t
even
brought
any
books
to
read
,
nothing
to
distract
me
.
Just
me
and
my
mind
,
about
to
face
each
other
on
an
empty
field
.
I
remember
that
my
legs
were
visibly
shaking
with
fear
.
Then
I
quoted
to
myself
one
of
my
favorite
lines
ever
from
my
Guru
:
"
Fear
-
who
cares
?
"
and
I
disembarked
alone
.
Отключить рекламу
I
rented
myself
a
little
cabin
on
the
beach
for
a
few
dollars
a
day
and
I
shut
my
mouth
and
vowed
not
to
open
it
again
until
something
inside
me
had
changed
.
Gili
Meno
Island
was
my
ultimate
truth
and
reconciliation
hearing
.
I
had
chosen
the
right
place
to
do
this
-
that
much
was
clear
.
The
island
itself
is
tiny
,
pristine
,
sandy
,
blue
water
,
palm
trees
.
It
s
a
perfect
circle
with
a
single
path
that
goes
around
it
,
and
you
can
walk
the
whole
circumference
in
about
an
hour
.
It
s
located
almost
exactly
on
the
equator
,
and
so
there
s
a
changelessness
about
its
daily
cycles
.
The
sun
comes
up
on
one
side
of
the
island
at
about
6
:
30
in
the
morning
and
goes
down
on
the
other
side
at
around
6
:
30
PM
,
every
day
of
the
year
.
The
place
is
inhabited
by
a
small
handful
of
Muslim
fishermen
and
their
families
.
There
is
no
spot
on
this
island
from
which
you
cannot
hear
the
ocean
.
There
are
no
motorized
vehicles
here
.
Electricity
comes
from
a
generator
,
and
for
only
a
few
hours
in
the
evenings
.
It
s
the
quietest
place
I
ve
ever
been
.
Every
morning
I
walked
the
circumference
of
the
island
at
sunrise
,
and
walked
it
again
at
sunset
.
The
rest
of
the
time
,
I
just
sat
and
watched
.
Watched
my
thoughts
,
watched
my
emotions
,
watched
the
fishermen
.
The
Yogic
sages
say
that
all
the
pain
of
a
human
life
is
caused
by
words
,
as
is
all
the
joy
.
We
create
words
to
define
our
experience
and
those
words
bring
attendant
emotions
that
jerk
us
around
like
dogs
on
a
leash
.
We
get
seduced
by
our
own
mantras
(
I
m
a
failure
I
m
lonely
I
m
a
failure
I
m
lonely
)
and
we
become
monuments
to
them
.
To
stop
talking
for
a
while
,
then
,
is
to
attempt
to
strip
away
the
power
of
words
,
to
stop
choking
ourselves
with
words
,
to
liberate
ourselves
from
our
suffocating
mantras
.
It
took
me
a
while
to
drop
into
true
silence
.
Even
after
I
d
stopped
talking
,
I
found
that
I
was
still
humming
with
language
.
My
organs
and
muscles
of
speech
-
brain
,
throat
,
chest
,
back
of
the
neck
-
vibrated
with
the
residual
effects
of
talking
long
after
I
d
stopped
making
sounds
.
My
head
shimmied
in
a
reverb
of
words
,
the
way
an
indoor
swimming
pool
seems
to
echo
interminably
with
sounds
and
shouts
,
even
after
the
kindergartners
have
left
for
the
day
.
It
took
a
surprisingly
long
time
for
all
this
pulsation
of
speech
to
fall
away
,
for
the
whirling
noises
to
settle
.
Maybe
it
took
about
three
days
.
Отключить рекламу
Then
everything
started
coming
up
.
In
that
state
of
silence
,
there
was
room
now
for
everything
hateful
,
everything
fearful
,
to
run
across
my
empty
mind
.
I
felt
like
a
junkie
in
detox
,
convulsing
with
the
poison
of
what
emerged
.
I
cried
a
lot
.
I
prayed
a
lot
.
It
was
difficult
and
it
was
terrifying
,
but
this
much
I
knew
-
I
never
didn
t
want
to
be
there
,
and
I
never
wished
that
anyone
were
there
with
me
.
I
knew
that
I
needed
to
do
this
and
that
I
needed
to
do
it
alone
.
The
only
other
tourists
on
the
island
were
a
handful
of
couples
having
romantic
vacations
.
(
Gili
Meno
is
far
too
pretty
and
far
too
remote
a
place
for
anyone
but
a
crazy
person
to
come
visit
solo
.
)
I
watched
these
couples
and
felt
some
envy
for
their
romances
,
but
knew
,
"
This
is
not
your
time
for
companionship
,
Liz
.
You
have
a
different
task
here
.
"
I
kept
away
from
everyone
.
People
on
the
island
left
me
alone
.
I
think
I
threw
off
a
spooky
vibe
.
I
had
not
been
well
all
year
.
You
can
t
lose
that
much
sleep
and
that
much
weight
and
cry
so
hard
for
so
long
without
starting
to
look
like
a
psychotic
.
So
nobody
talked
to
me
.