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181
And
in
the
middle
of
all
that
,
a
book
that
I
d
written
a
few
years
earlier
was
being
published
in
paperback
and
I
had
to
go
on
a
small
publicity
tour
.
I
took
my
friend
Iva
with
me
for
company
.
Iva
is
my
age
but
grew
up
in
Beirut
,
Lebanon
.
Which
means
that
,
while
I
was
playing
sports
and
auditioning
for
musicals
in
a
Connecticut
middle
school
,
she
was
cowering
in
a
bomb
shelter
five
nights
out
of
seven
,
trying
not
to
die
.
I
m
not
sure
how
all
this
early
exposure
to
violence
created
somebody
who
s
so
steady
now
,
but
Iva
is
one
of
the
calmest
souls
I
know
.
Moreover
,
she
s
got
what
I
call
"
The
Bat
Phone
to
the
Universe
,
"
some
kind
of
Iva
-
only
,
open
-
round
-
the
-
clock
special
channel
to
the
divine
.
182
So
we
were
driving
across
Kansas
,
and
I
was
in
my
normal
state
of
sweaty
disarray
over
this
divorce
deal
-
will
he
sign
,
will
he
not
sign
?
-
and
I
said
to
Iva
,
"
I
don
t
think
I
can
endure
another
year
in
court
.
I
wish
I
could
get
some
divine
intervention
here
.
I
wish
I
could
write
a
petition
to
God
,
asking
for
this
thing
to
end
.
"
183
"
So
why
don
t
you
?
"
Отключить рекламу
184
I
explained
to
Iva
my
personal
opinions
about
prayer
.
Namely
,
that
I
don
t
feel
comfortable
petitioning
for
specific
things
from
God
,
because
that
feels
to
me
like
a
kind
of
weakness
of
faith
.
I
don
t
like
asking
,
"
Will
you
change
this
or
that
thing
in
my
life
that
s
difficult
for
me
?
"
Because
-
who
knows
?
-
God
might
want
me
to
be
facing
that
particular
challenge
for
a
reason
.
185
Instead
,
I
feel
more
comfortable
praying
for
the
courage
to
face
whatever
occurs
in
my
life
with
equanimity
,
no
matter
how
things
turn
out
.
186
Iva
listened
politely
,
then
asked
,
"
Where
d
you
get
that
stupid
idea
?
"
187
"
What
do
you
mean
?
"
Отключить рекламу
188
"
Where
did
you
get
the
idea
you
aren
t
allowed
to
petition
the
universe
with
prayer
?
You
are
part
of
this
universe
,
Liz
.
You
re
a
constituent
-
you
have
every
entitlement
to
participate
in
the
actions
of
the
universe
,
and
to
let
your
feelings
be
known
.
So
put
your
opinion
out
there
.
Make
your
case
.
Believe
me
-
it
will
at
least
be
taken
into
consideration
.
"
189
"
Really
?
"
All
this
was
news
to
me
.
190
"
Really
!
Listen
-
if
you
were
to
write
a
petition
to
God
right
now
,
what
would
it
say
?
"