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"
Why
’
d
you
steal
it
from
Colonel
Cathcart
if
you
didn
’
t
want
it
?
"
"
I
didn
’
t
steal
it
from
Colonel
Cathcard
"
"
Then
why
are
you
so
guilty
,
if
you
didn
’
t
steal
it
?
"
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"
I
’
m
not
guilty
!
"
"
Then
why
would
we
be
questioning
you
if
you
weren
’
t
guilty
?
"
"
Oh
,
I
don
’
t
know
,
"
the
chaplain
groaned
,
kneading
his
fingers
in
his
lap
and
shaking
his
bowed
and
anguished
head
.
"
I
don
’
t
know
.
"
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"
He
thinks
we
have
time
to
waste
,
"
snorted
the
major
.
"
Chaplain
,
"
resumed
the
officer
without
insignia
at
a
more
leisurely
pace
,
lifting
a
typewritten
sheet
of
yellow
paper
from
the
open
folder
,
"
I
have
a
signed
statement
here
from
Colonel
Cathcart
asserting
you
stole
that
plum
tomato
from
him
.
"
He
lay
the
sheet
face
down
on
one
side
of
the
folder
and
picked
up
a
second
page
from
the
other
side
.
"
And
I
have
a
notarized
affidavit
from
Sergeant
Whitcomb
in
which
he
states
that
he
knew
the
tomato
was
hot
just
from
the
way
you
tried
to
unload
it
on
him
.
"
"
I
swear
to
God
I
didn
’
t
steal
it
,
sir
,
"
the
chaplain
pleaded
with
distress
,
almost
in
tears
.
"
I
give
you
my
sacred
word
it
was
not
a
hot
tomato
.
"