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481
Jon
felt
anger
rise
inside
him
.
"
I
'm
not
your
son
!
"
482
Benjen
Stark
stood
up
.
"
More
's
the
pity
.
"
He
put
a
hand
on
Jon
's
shoulder
.
"
Come
back
to
me
after
you
've
fathered
a
few
bastards
of
your
own
,
and
we
'll
see
how
you
feel
.
"
483
Jon
trembled
.
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484
"
I
will
never
father
a
bastard
,
"
he
said
carefully
.
"
Never
!
"
He
spat
it
out
like
venom
.
485
Suddenly
he
realized
that
the
table
had
fallen
silent
,
and
they
were
all
looking
at
him
.
He
felt
the
tears
begin
to
well
behind
his
eyes
.
He
pushed
himself
to
his
feet
.
486
"
I
must
be
excused
,
"
he
said
with
the
last
of
his
dignity
.
He
whirled
and
bolted
before
they
could
see
him
cry
.
He
must
have
drunk
more
wine
than
he
had
realized
.
His
feet
got
tangled
under
him
as
he
tried
to
leave
,
and
he
lurched
sideways
into
a
serving
girl
and
sent
a
flagon
of
spiced
wine
crashing
to
the
floor
.
Laughter
boomed
all
around
him
,
and
Jon
felt
hot
tears
on
his
cheeks
.
Someone
tried
to
steady
him
.
He
wrenched
free
of
their
grip
and
ran
,
half-blind
,
for
the
door
.
Ghost
followed
close
at
his
heels
,
out
into
the
night
.
487
The
yard
was
quiet
and
empty
.
A
lone
sentry
stood
high
on
the
battlements
of
the
inner
wall
,
his
cloak
pulled
tight
around
him
against
the
cold
.
He
looked
bored
and
miserable
as
he
huddled
there
alone
,
but
Jon
would
have
traded
places
with
him
in
an
instant
.
Otherwise
the
castle
was
dark
and
deserted
.
Jon
had
seen
an
abandoned
holdfast
once
,
a
drear
place
where
nothing
moved
but
the
wind
and
the
stones
kept
silent
about
whatever
people
had
lived
there
.
Winterfell
reminded
him
of
that
tonight
.
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488
The
sounds
of
music
and
song
spilled
through
the
open
windows
behind
him
.
They
were
the
last
things
Jon
wanted
to
hear
.
He
wiped
away
his
tears
on
the
sleeve
of
his
shirt
,
furious
that
he
had
let
them
fall
,
and
turned
to
go
.
489
"
Boy
,
"
a
voice
called
out
to
him
.
Jon
turned
.
490
Tyrion
Lannister
was
sitting
on
the
ledge
above
the
door
to
the
Great
Hall
,
looking
for
all
the
world
like
a
gargoyle
.
The
dwarf
grinned
down
at
him
.
"
Is
that
animal
a
wolf
?
"