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No
one
,
it
seemed
,
was
interested
in
bells
.
I
began
to
get
as
much
sore
as
worried
.
It
’
s
humiliating
to
bedependent
,
anyway
,
but
it
’
s
a
still
poorer
pass
to
have
no
one
to
depend
on
.
My
patience
was
whittlingdown
.
Something
,
I
decided
,
had
got
to
be
done
about
it
.
If
I
were
to
bawl
down
the
passage
and
generally
raise
hell
,
somebody
ought
to
show
up
if
only
to
tellme
what
they
thought
of
me
.
I
turned
back
the
sheet
and
got
out
of
bed
.
I
’
d
never
seen
the
room
I
wasin
,
and
though
I
had
a
fairly
good
idea
by
ear
of
the
position
of
the
door
,
it
wasn
’
t
all
that
easy
to
find
.
There
seemed
to
be
several
puzzling
and
unnecessary
obstacles
,
but
I
got
across
at
the
cost
of
a
stubbedtoe
and
minor
damage
to
my
shin
.
I
shoved
out
into
the
passage
.
"
Hey
!
"
I
shouted
.
"
I
want
some
breakfast
.
Room
forty
-
eight
!
"
For
a
moment
nothing
happened
.
Then
came
voices
all
shouting
together
.
It
sounded
like
hundreds
ofthem
,
and
not
a
word
coming
through
clearly
.
It
was
as
though
I
’
d
put
on
a
record
of
crowd
noises
-
andan
ill
-
disposed
crowd
,
at
that
.
I
had
a
nightmarish
flash
,
wondering
whether
I
had
been
transferred
to
amental
home
while
I
was
sleeping
and
that
this
was
not
St
.
Merryn
’
s
Hospital
at
all
.
The
sound
of
thosevoices
simply
didn
’
t
sound
normal
to
me
.
I
closed
the
door
hurriedly
on
the
babel
and
groped
my
wayback
to
bed
.
At
that
moment
bed
seemed
to
be
the
one
safe
,
comforting
thing
in
my
whole
bafflingenvironment
.
As
if
to
underline
that
,
there
came
a
sound
which
checked
me
in
the
act
of
pulling
up
thesheets
.
From
the
street
below
rose
a
scream
,
wildly
distraught
and
contagiously
terrifying
.
It
came
threetimes
,
and
when
it
had
died
away
it
seemed
still
to
tingle
in
the
air
.
I
shuddered
.
I
could
feel
the
sweat
prickle
my
forehead
under
the
bandages
.
I
knew
now
that
somethingfearful
and
horrible
was
happening
.
I
could
not
stand
my
isolation
and
helplessness
any
longer
.
I
had
toknow
what
was
going
on
around
me
.
My
hands
went
up
to
my
bandages
;
then
,
with
my
fingers
on
thesafety
pins
,
I
stopped
.
Suppose
the
treatment
had
not
been
successful
?
Suppose
that
when
I
took
the
bandages
off
I
were
tofind
that
I
still
could
not
see
?
That
would
be
worse
still
-
a
hundred
times
worse
.
.
.
.
I
lacked
the
courage
tobe
alone
and
find
out
that
they
had
not
saved
my
sight
.
And
even
if
they
had
,
would
it
be
safe
yet
to
keepmy
eyes
uncovered
?
I
dropped
my
hands
and
lay
back
.
I
was
mad
at
myself
and
the
place
,
and
I
did
some
silly
,
weakcursing
.
Some
little
while
must
have
passed
before
I
got
a
proper
hold
on
things
again
,
but
after
a
bit
I
foundmyself
churning
round
in
my
mind
once
more
after
a
possible
explanation
.
I
did
not
find
it
.
But
I
didbecome
absolutely
convinced
that
,
come
all
the
paradoxes
of
hell
,
it
was
Wednesday
.
For
the
previousday
had
been
notable
,
and
I
could
swear
that
no
more
than
a
single
night
had
passed
since
then
.
