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Отмена
That
Deborah
who
sent
me
as
a
child
to
Golgotha
was
a
precise
machine
with
words
.
She
took
no
nonsense
from
them
nor
permitted
me
a
laxity
.
What
power
she
had
,
that
old
woman
!
If
she
wanted
immortality
,
she
had
it
in
my
brain
.
Seeing
me
trace
the
puzzle
with
my
finger
,
she
said
,
"
Ethan
,
that
outlandish
thing
could
well
become
your
talisman
.
"
"
What
’
s
a
talisman
?
"
"
If
I
tell
you
,
your
half
-
attention
will
only
half
learn
.
Look
it
up
.
"
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So
many
words
are
mine
because
Aunt
Deborah
first
aroused
my
curiosity
and
then
forced
me
to
satisfy
it
by
my
own
effort
.
Of
course
I
replied
,
"
Who
cares
?
"
But
she
knew
I
would
creep
to
it
alone
and
she
spelled
it
so
I
could
track
it
down
.
T
-
a
-
l
-
i
-
s
-
m
-
a
-
n
.
She
cared
deeply
about
words
and
she
hated
their
misuse
as
she
would
hate
the
clumsy
handling
of
any
fine
thing
.
Now
,
so
many
cycles
later
,
I
can
see
the
page
—
can
see
myself
misspelling
"
talisman
.
"
The
Arabic
was
only
a
squiggly
line
with
a
bulb
on
the
end
of
it
.
The
Greek
I
could
pronounce
because
of
the
blade
of
that
old
woman
.
"
A
stone
or
other
object
engraved
with
figures
or
characters
to
which
are
attributed
the
occult
powers
of
the
planetary
influences
and
celestial
configurations
under
which
it
was
made
,
usually
worn
as
an
amulet
to
avert
evil
from
or
bring
fortune
to
the
bearer
.
"
I
had
then
to
look
for
"
occult
,
"
"
planetary
,
"
"
celestial
,
"
and
"
amulet
.
"
It
was
always
that
way
.
One
word
set
off
others
like
a
string
of
firecrackers
.
When
later
I
asked
her
,
"
Do
you
believe
in
talismans
?
"
she
replied
,
"
What
has
my
belief
to
do
with
it
?
"
I
put
it
in
her
hands
.
"
What
does
this
figure
or
character
mean
?
"
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"
It
’
s
your
talisman
,
not
mine
.
It
means
what
you
want
it
to
mean
.
Put
it
back
in
the
cabinet
.
It
will
wait
for
you
.
"
Now
,
as
I
walked
in
the
cavern
of
the
elms
,
she
was
as
alive
as
ever
she
had
been
and
that
’
s
true
immortality
.
Over
and
under
itself
the
carving
went
,
and
around
and
over
and
under
,
a
serpent
with
neither
head
nor
tail
nor
beginning
nor
ending
.
And
I
had
taken
it
away
with
me
for
the
first
time
—
to
avert
evil
?
To
bring
fortune
?
I
don
’
t
believe
in
fortune
-
telling
either
,
and
immortality
has
always
felt
to
me
like
a
sickly
promise
for
the
disappointed
.