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They
were
quite
hopeless
.
He
said
it
as
he
might
have
said
,
I
have
cancer
.
His
fairy
story
.
October
31st
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Nothing
.
I
psycho
-
analyzed
him
this
evening
.
He
would
sit
so
stiffly
beside
me
.
We
were
looking
at
Goya
’
s
etchings
.
Perhaps
it
was
the
etchings
themselves
,
but
he
sat
and
I
thought
he
wasn
’
t
really
looking
at
them
.
But
thinking
only
of
being
so
close
to
me
.
His
inhibition
.
It
’
s
absurd
.
I
talked
at
him
as
if
he
could
easily
be
normal
.
As
if
he
wasn
’
t
a
maniac
keeping
me
prisoner
here
.
But
a
nice
young
man
who
wanted
a
bit
of
chivvying
from
a
jolly
girl
-
friend
.
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It
’
s
because
I
never
see
anyone
else
.
He
becomes
the
norm
.
I
forget
to
compare
.
Another
time
G
.
P
.
It
was
soon
after
the
icy
douche
(
what
he
said
about
my
work
)
.
I
was
restless
one
evening
.
I
went
round
to
his
flat
.
About
ten
.
He
had
his
dressing
-
gown
on
.