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111
Her
face
was
white
,
some
of
the
sick
had
gone
on
her
navy
jumper
,
she
was
a
real
sight
;
but
her
eyes
weren
t
afraid
.
It
twas
funny
.
She
just
stared
at
me
,
waiting
.
112
I
said
,
this
is
your
room
.
If
you
do
what
I
say
,
you
won
t
be
hurt
.
It
s
no
good
shouting
.
You
can
t
be
heard
outside
and
anyway
there
s
never
anyone
to
hear
.
I
m
going
to
leave
you
now
,
there
s
some
biscuits
and
sandwiches
(
I
bought
some
in
Hampstead
)
and
if
you
want
to
make
tea
or
cocoa
.
I
ll
come
back
tomorrow
morning
,
I
said
.
113
I
could
see
she
wanted
me
to
take
the
gag
off
,
but
I
wouldn
t
do
it
.
What
I
did
was
I
undid
her
arms
and
then
immediately
went
back
out
;
she
struggled
to
get
the
gag
off
,
but
I
got
the
door
closed
first
and
the
bolts
in
.
I
heard
her
cry
,
come
back
!
Then
again
but
not
loud
.
Then
she
tried
the
door
,
but
not
very
hard
.
Then
she
began
to
bang
on
the
door
with
something
hard
.
I
think
it
was
the
hairbrush
.
It
didn
t
sound
much
,
anyhow
I
put
the
false
shelf
in
and
knew
you
wouldn
t
hear
anything
outside
.
I
stayed
an
hour
in
the
outer
cellar
,
just
in
case
.
It
wasn
t
necessary
,
there
was
nothing
in
her
room
she
could
have
broken
the
door
down
with
even
if
she
had
the
strength
,
I
bought
all
plastic
cups
and
saucers
and
aluminium
teapot
and
cutlery
,
etcetera
.
Отключить рекламу
114
Eventually
I
went
up
and
went
to
bed
.
She
was
my
guest
at
last
and
that
was
all
I
cared
about
.
115
I
lay
awake
a
long
time
,
thinking
about
things
.
I
felt
a
bit
unsure
the
van
would
be
traced
,
but
there
were
hundreds
of
vans
like
that
,
and
the
only
people
I
really
worried
about
were
those
two
women
who
passed
.
116
Well
,
I
lay
there
thinking
of
her
below
,
lying
awake
too
.
I
had
nice
dreams
,
dreams
where
I
went
down
and
comforted
her
;
I
was
excited
,
perhaps
I
went
a
bit
far
in
what
I
gave
myself
to
dream
,
but
I
wasn
t
really
worried
,
I
knew
my
love
was
worthy
of
her
.
Then
I
went
to
sleep
.
117
After
,
she
was
telling
me
what
a
bad
thing
I
did
and
how
I
ought
to
try
and
realize
it
more
.
I
can
only
say
that
evening
I
was
very
happy
,
as
I
said
,
and
it
was
more
like
I
had
done
something
very
daring
,
like
climbing
Everest
or
doing
something
in
enemy
territory
.
My
feelings
were
very
happy
because
my
intentions
were
of
the
best
.
It
was
what
she
never
understood
.
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118
To
sum
up
,
that
night
was
the
best
thing
I
ever
did
in
my
life
(
bar
winning
the
pools
in
the
first
place
)
.
It
was
like
catching
the
Mazarine
Blue
again
or
a
Queen
of
Spain
Fritil
-
lary
.
I
mean
it
was
like
something
you
only
do
once
in
a
lifetime
and
even
then
often
not
;
something
you
dream
about
more
than
you
ever
expect
to
see
come
true
,
in
fact
.
119
I
didn
t
need
the
alarm
,
I
was
up
before
.
I
went
down
,
locking
the
cellar
door
behind
me
.
I
d
planned
everything
,
I
knocked
on
her
door
and
shouted
please
get
up
,
and
waited
ten
minutes
and
then
drew
the
bolts
and
went
in
.
I
had
her
bag
with
me
which
I
had
searched
,
of
course
.
There
was
nothing
she
could
use
except
a
nail
-
file
and
a
razor
-
blade
cutter
which
I
removed
.
120
The
light
was
on
,
she
was
standing
by
the
armchair
.
She
d
got
all
her
clothes
on
and
she
stared
at
me
again
,
no
sign
of
fear
,
bold
as
brass
she
was
.
It
s
funny
,
she
didn
t
look
quite
like
I
d
always
remembered
her
.
Of
course
I
d
never
seen
her
so
close
before
.