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And
so
strong
was
his
belief
,
Harry
actually
turned
his
head
to
check
the
door
,
sure
,
for
a
split
second
,
that
he
was
going
to
see
Sirius
,
pearly-white
and
transparent
but
beaming
,
walking
through
it
towards
him
.
'
He
will
not
come
back
,
'
repeated
Nick
.
'
He
will
have
...
gone
on
.
'
'
What
d'you
mean
,
"
gone
on
"
?
'
said
Harry
quickly
.
'
Gone
on
where
?
Listen
--
what
happens
when
you
die
,
anyway
?
Where
do
you
go
?
Why
does
n't
everyone
come
back
?
Why
is
n't
this
place
full
of
ghosts
?
Why
--
?
'
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'
I
can
not
answer
,
'
said
Nick
.
'
You
're
dead
,
are
n't
you
?
'
said
Harry
exasperatedly
.
'
Who
can
answer
better
than
you
?
'
'
I
was
afraid
of
death
,
'
said
Nick
softly
.
'
I
chose
to
remain
behind
.
I
sometimes
wonder
whether
I
ought
n't
to
have
...
well
,
that
is
neither
here
nor
there
...
in
fact
,
I
am
neither
here
nor
there
...
'
He
gave
a
small
sad
chuckle
.
'
I
know
nothing
of
the
secrets
of
death
,
Harry
,
for
I
chose
my
feeble
imitation
of
life
instead
.
I
believe
learned
wizards
study
the
matter
in
the
Department
of
Mysteries
--
'
'D
o
n't
talk
to
me
about
that
place
!
'
said
Harry
fiercely
.
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'
I
am
sorry
not
to
have
been
more
help
,
'
said
Nick
gently
.
'
Well
...
well
,
do
excuse
me
...
the
feast
,
you
know
...
'
And
he
left
the
room
,
leaving
Harry
there
alone
,
gazing
blankly
at
the
wall
through
which
Nick
had
disappeared
.
Harry
felt
almost
as
though
he
had
lost
his
godfather
all
over
again
in
losing
the
hope
that
he
might
be
able
to
see
or
speak
to
him
once
more
.
He
walked
slowly
and
miserably
back
up
through
the
empty
castle
,
wondering
whether
he
would
ever
feel
cheerful
again
.