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481
And
while
this
illusion
of
the
extension
of
time
and
space
persisted
and
grew
,
I
found
myself
dreamily
considering
a
new
and
profound
problem
.
Morrell
had
told
me
that
he
had
won
freedom
from
his
body
by
killing
his
body
--
or
by
eliminating
his
body
from
his
consciousness
,
which
,
of
course
,
was
in
effect
the
same
thing
.
482
Now
,
my
body
was
so
near
to
being
entirely
dead
that
I
knew
in
all
absoluteness
that
by
a
quick
concentration
of
will
on
the
yet-alive
patch
of
my
torso
it
,
too
,
would
cease
to
be
.
But
--
and
here
was
the
problem
,
and
Morrell
had
not
warned
me
:
should
I
also
will
my
head
to
be
dead
?
If
I
did
so
,
no
matter
what
befell
the
spirit
of
Darrell
Standing
,
would
not
the
body
of
Darrell
Standing
be
for
ever
dead
?
483
I
chanced
the
chest
and
the
slow-beating
heart
.
The
quick
compulsion
of
my
will
was
rewarded
.
I
no
longer
had
chest
nor
heart
.
I
was
only
a
mind
,
a
soul
,
a
consciousness
--
call
it
what
you
will
--
incorporate
in
a
nebulous
brain
that
,
while
it
still
centred
inside
my
skull
,
was
expanded
,
and
was
continuing
to
expand
,
beyond
my
skull
.
Отключить рекламу
484
And
then
,
with
flashings
of
light
,
I
was
off
and
away
.
At
a
bound
I
had
vaulted
prison
roof
and
California
sky
,
and
was
among
the
stars
.
I
say
"
stars
"
advisedly
.
I
walked
among
the
stars
.
I
was
a
child
.
I
was
clad
in
frail
,
fleece-like
,
delicate-coloured
robes
that
shimmered
in
the
cool
starlight
.
These
robes
,
of
course
,
were
based
upon
my
boyhood
observance
of
circus
actors
and
my
boyhood
conception
of
the
garb
of
young
angels
.
485
Nevertheless
,
thus
clad
,
I
trod
interstellar
space
,
exalted
by
the
knowledge
that
I
was
bound
on
vast
adventure
,
where
,
at
the
end
,
I
would
find
all
the
cosmic
formulæ
and
have
made
clear
to
me
the
ultimate
secret
of
the
universe
.
In
my
hand
I
carried
a
long
glass
wand
.
486
It
was
borne
in
upon
me
that
with
the
tip
of
this
wand
I
must
touch
each
star
in
passing
.
And
I
knew
,
in
all
absoluteness
,
that
did
I
but
miss
one
star
I
should
be
precipitated
into
some
unplummeted
abyss
of
unthinkable
and
eternal
punishment
and
guilt
.
487
Long
I
pursued
my
starry
quest
.
When
I
say
"
long
,
"
you
must
bear
in
mind
the
enormous
extension
of
time
that
had
occurred
in
my
brain
.
For
centuries
I
trod
space
,
with
the
tip
of
my
wand
and
with
unerring
eye
and
hand
tapping
each
star
I
passed
.
Ever
the
way
grew
brighter
.
Ever
the
ineffable
goal
of
infinite
wisdom
grew
nearer
.
And
yet
I
made
no
mistake
.
This
was
no
other
self
of
mine
.
This
was
no
experience
that
had
once
been
mine
.
I
was
aware
all
the
time
that
it
was
I
,
Darrell
Standing
,
who
walked
among
the
stars
and
tapped
them
with
a
wand
of
glass
.
In
short
,
I
knew
that
here
was
nothing
real
,
nothing
that
had
ever
been
nor
could
ever
be
.
I
knew
that
it
was
nothing
else
than
a
ridiculous
orgy
of
the
imagination
,
such
as
men
enjoy
in
drug
dreams
,
in
delirium
,
or
in
mere
ordinary
slumber
.
Отключить рекламу
488
And
then
,
as
all
went
merry
and
well
with
me
on
my
celestial
quest
,
the
tip
of
my
wand
missed
a
star
,
and
on
the
instant
I
knew
I
had
been
guilty
of
a
great
crime
.
And
on
the
instant
a
knock
,
vast
and
compulsive
,
inexorable
and
mandatory
as
the
stamp
of
the
iron
hoof
of
doom
,
smote
me
and
reverberated
across
the
universe
.
The
whole
sidereal
system
coruscated
,
reeled
and
fell
in
flame
.
489
I
was
torn
by
an
exquisite
and
disruptive
agony
.
And
on
the
instant
I
was
Darrell
Standing
,
the
life-convict
,
lying
in
his
strait-jacket
in
solitary
.
And
I
knew
the
immediate
cause
of
that
summons
.
It
was
a
rap
of
the
knuckle
by
Ed
Morrell
,
in
Cell
Five
,
beginning
the
spelling
of
some
message
.
490
And
now
,
to
give
some
comprehension
of
the
extension
of
time
and
space
that
I
was
experiencing
.
Many
days
afterwards
I
asked
Morrell
what
he
had
tried
to
convey
to
me
.
It
was
a
simple
message
,
namely
:
"
Standing
,
are
you
there
?
"
He
had
tapped
it
rapidly
,
while
the
guard
was
at
the
far
end
of
the
corridor
into
which
the
solitary
cells
opened
.
As
I
say
,
he
had
tapped
the
message
very
rapidly
.
And
now
behold
!
Between
the
first
tap
and
the
second
I
was
off
and
away
among
the
stars
,
clad
in
fleecy
garments
,
touching
each
star
as
I
passed
in
my
pursuit
of
the
formulæ
that
would
explain
the
last
mystery
of
life
.
And
,
as
before
,
I
pursued
the
quest
for
centuries
.
Then
came
the
summons
,
the
stamp
of
the
hoof
of
doom
,
the
exquisite
disruptive
agony
,
and
again
I
was
back
in
my
cell
in
San
Quentin
.
It
was
the
second
tap
of
Ed
Morrell
's
knuckle
.
The
interval
between
it
and
the
first
tap
could
have
been
no
more
than
a
fifth
of
a
second
.
And
yet
,
so
unthinkably
enormous
was
the
extension
of
time
to
me
,
that
in
the
course
of
that
fifth
of
a
second
I
had
been
away
star-roving
for
long
ages
.