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511
She
pondered
the
other
side
of
the
question
.
512
Not
much
,
she
said
truthfully
.
513
Then
let
s
leave
it
all
alone
,
and
just
be
decent
and
simple
,
like
proper
human
beings
with
one
another
.
Be
damned
to
the
artificial
sex
-
compulsion
!
I
refuse
it
!
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514
Connie
knew
he
was
right
,
really
.
Yet
it
left
her
feeling
so
forlorn
,
so
forlorn
and
stray
.
Like
a
chip
on
a
dreary
pond
,
she
felt
.
What
was
the
point
,
of
her
or
anything
?
515
It
was
her
youth
which
rebelled
.
These
men
seemed
so
old
and
cold
.
Everything
seemed
old
and
cold
.
And
Michaelis
let
one
down
so
;
he
was
no
good
.
The
men
didn
t
want
one
;
they
just
didn
t
really
want
a
woman
,
even
Michaelis
didn
t
.
516
And
the
bounders
who
pretended
they
did
,
and
started
working
the
sex
game
,
they
were
worse
than
ever
.
517
It
was
just
dismal
,
and
one
had
to
put
up
with
it
.
It
was
quite
true
,
men
had
no
real
glamour
for
a
woman
:
if
you
could
fool
yourself
into
thinking
they
had
,
even
as
she
had
fooled
herself
over
Michaelis
,
that
was
the
best
you
could
do
.
Meanwhile
you
just
lived
on
and
there
was
nothing
to
it
.
She
understood
perfectly
well
why
people
had
cocktail
parties
,
and
jazzed
,
and
Charlestoned
till
they
were
ready
to
drop
.
You
had
to
take
it
out
some
way
or
other
,
your
youth
,
or
it
ate
you
up
.
But
what
a
ghastly
thing
,
this
youth
!
You
felt
as
old
as
Methuselah
,
and
yet
the
thing
fizzed
somehow
,
and
didn
t
let
you
be
comfortable
.
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518
A
mean
sort
of
life
!
And
no
prospect
!
She
almost
wished
she
had
gone
off
with
Mick
,
and
made
her
life
one
long
cocktail
party
,
and
jazz
evening
.
Anyhow
that
was
better
than
just
mooning
yourself
into
the
grave
.
519
On
one
of
her
bad
days
she
went
out
alone
to
walk
in
the
wood
,
ponderously
,
heeding
nothing
,
not
even
noticing
where
she
was
.
The
report
of
a
gun
not
far
off
startled
and
angered
her
.
520
Then
,
as
she
went
,
she
heard
voices
,
and
recoiled
.
People
!
She
didn
t
want
people
.
But
her
quick
ear
caught
another
sound
,
and
she
roused
;
it
was
a
child
sobbing
.
At
once
she
attended
;
someone
was
ill
-
treating
a
child
.
She
strode
swinging
down
the
wet
drive
,
her
sullen
resentment
uppermost
.
She
felt
just
prepared
to
make
a
scene
.