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She
still
stared
in
amazement
,
and
he
was
uncomfortable
.
’
So
you
would
not
like
it
if
I
had
a
child
?
’
she
said
.
’
I
tell
you
,
’
he
replied
quickly
,
like
a
cornered
dog
,
’
I
am
quite
willing
,
provided
it
doesn
’
t
touch
your
love
for
me
.
If
it
would
touch
that
,
I
am
dead
against
it
.
’
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Connie
could
only
be
silent
in
cold
fear
and
contempt
.
Such
talk
was
really
the
gabbling
of
an
idiot
.
He
no
longer
knew
what
he
was
talking
about
.
’
Oh
,
it
wouldn
’
t
make
any
difference
to
my
feeling
for
you
,
’
she
said
,
with
a
certain
sarcasm
.
’
There
!
’
he
said
.
’
That
is
the
point
!
In
that
case
I
don
’
t
mind
in
the
least
.
I
mean
it
would
be
awfully
nice
to
have
a
child
running
about
the
house
,
and
feel
one
was
building
up
a
future
for
it
.
I
should
have
something
to
strive
for
then
,
and
I
should
know
it
was
your
child
,
shouldn
’
t
I
,
dear
?
And
it
would
seem
just
the
same
as
my
own
.
Because
it
is
you
who
count
in
these
matters
.
You
know
that
,
don
’
t
you
,
dear
?
I
don
’
t
enter
,
I
am
a
cypher
.
You
are
the
great
I
-
am
!
as
far
as
life
goes
.
You
know
that
,
don
’
t
you
?
I
mean
,
as
far
as
I
am
concerned
.
I
mean
,
but
for
you
I
am
absolutely
nothing
.
I
live
for
your
sake
and
your
future
.
I
am
nothing
to
myself
’
Connie
heard
it
all
with
deepening
dismay
and
repulsion
.
It
was
one
of
the
ghastly
half
-
truths
that
poison
human
existence
.
What
man
in
his
senses
would
say
such
things
to
a
woman
!
But
men
aren
’
t
in
their
senses
.
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What
man
with
a
spark
of
honour
would
put
this
ghastly
burden
of
life
-
responsibility
upon
a
woman
,
and
leave
her
there
,
in
the
void
?
Moreover
,
in
half
an
hour
’
s
time
,
Connie
heard
Clifford
talking
to
Mrs
Bolton
,
in
a
hot
,
impulsive
voice
,
revealing
himself
in
a
sort
of
passionless
passion
to
the
woman
,
as
if
she
were
half
mistress
,
half
foster
-
mother
to
him
.
And
Mrs
Bolton
was
carefully
dressing
him
in
evening
clothes
,
for
there
were
important
business
guests
in
the
house
.
Connie
really
sometimes
felt
she
would
die
at
this
time
.
She
felt
she
was
being
crushed
to
death
by
weird
lies
,
and
by
the
amazing
cruelty
of
idiocy
.
Clifford
’
s
strange
business
efficiency
in
a
way
over
-
awed
her
,
and
his
declaration
of
private
worship
put
her
into
a
panic
.
There
was
nothing
between
them
.
She
never
even
touched
him
nowadays
,
and
he
never
touched
her
.
He
never
even
took
her
hand
and
held
it
kindly
.
No
,
and
because
they
were
so
utterly
out
of
touch
,
he
tortured
her
with
his
declaration
of
idolatry
.
It
was
the
cruelty
of
utter
impotence
.
And
she
felt
her
reason
would
give
way
,
or
she
would
die
.