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My
internal
family
,
in
fact
,
is
not
in
continuous
contact
with
me
at
all
,
and
have
not
been
for
a
long
time
.
.
.
.
The
events
here
in
the
last
weeks
were
not
very
good
.
I
am
not
responsible
for
it
at
all
.
I
hate
everything
that
transpires
around
me
,
but
I
can
t
stop
it
,
and
I
can
t
alter
it
It
was
signed
"
Billy
Milligan
.
"
A
few
days
later
I
received
another
letter
,
explaining
who
had
written
the
first
one
.
Again
I
am
sorry
for
the
non
English
letters
.
It
really
embarrasses
me
to
do
everything
wrong
.
Arthur
knows
you
don
t
speak
Arabic
but
he
sends
you
a
dumb
letter
like
that
.
Отключить рекламу
Arthur
has
never
tried
to
impress
anyone
so
he
must
be
getting
mixed
up
and
just
forgot
.
Samuel
was
taught
by
Arthur
about
Arabic
,
but
he
never
writes
letters
.
Arthur
says
it
is
bad
tc
boast
.
I
wish
he
would
talk
to
me
.
Bad
things
are
happening
and
I
don
t
know
why
.
Arthur
also
speaks
Swahili
.
Arthur
read
many
books
in
Lebanor
(
prison
)
about
the
fundamentals
of
Arabic
.
He
wanted
to
explore
the
pyramids
and
the
Egyptian
culture
.
He
had
to
learn
their
language
and
to
know
what
they
wrote
on
the
wall
.
I
aske
<
Arthur
one
day
why
he
was
interested
in
that
big
pile
of
tri
angled
rocks
.
He
told
me
that
he
was
not
as
interested
in
wha
was
in
the
tomb
,
but
it
might
give
a
key
to
how
the
tomb
go
there
.
He
said
something
about
how
it
defies
a
law
of
physic
and
he
was
looking
for
the
answer
.
He
even
made
little
card
board
pyramids
,
but
David
smashed
them
.
Billy
U
During
this
period
at
the
hospital
,
according
to
Billy
,
there
was
much
harassment
and
beatings
of
patients
by
attendants
,
but
besides
Ragen
,
only
Kevin
,
of
all
the
personalities
,
stood
up
to
the
attendants
.
In
recognition
of
this
,
Arthur
removed
him
from
the
list
of
undesirables
.
Отключить рекламу
Kevin
wrote
to
me
on
March
28
,
1980
:
Something
very
bad
has
happened
but
I
don
t
know
what
.
I
did
know
it
would
be
only
a
matter
of
time
before
total
unfusion
and
Billy
would
go
to
sleep
for
good
.
Arthur
said
Billy
had
only
a
small
taste
of
conscious
life
but
unfortunately
the
taste
was
a
bitter
one
.
Day
by
day
he
grew
weaker
in
this
place
.
He
could
not
understand
the
hate
and
jealousy
displayed
by
the
authority
figures
of
this
institution
.
They
also
provoked
the
patients
to
hurt
him
and
make
Ragen
fight
,
but
Billy
could
hold
Ragen
back
.
.
.
but
not
anymore
.
The
doctors
say
bad
things
about
us
,
and
what
hurts
the
most
is
they
are
right
.