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Отмена
Alice
cried
when
I
told
her
the
news
.
Then
she
ran
out
.
I
ve
got
to
impress
on
her
that
there
is
no
reason
for
her
to
feel
guilty
about
this
.
September
2
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Nothing
definite
yet
.
I
move
in
a
silence
of
clear
white
light
.
Everything
around
me
is
waiting
.
I
dream
of
being
alone
on
the
top
of
a
mountain
,
surveying
the
land
around
me
,
greens
and
yellows
and
the
sun
directly
above
,
pressing
my
shadow
into
a
tight
ball
around
my
legs
.
As
the
sun
drops
into
the
afternoon
sky
,
the
shadow
undrapes
itself
and
stretches
out
toward
the
horizon
,
long
and
thin
,
and
far
behind
me
.
.
.
.
I
want
to
say
here
again
what
I
ve
said
already
to
Dr
.
Strauss
.
No
one
is
in
any
way
to
blame
for
what
has
hap
­
pened
.
This
experiment
was
carefully
prepared
,
extensively
tested
on
animals
,
and
statistically
validated
.
When
they
de
­
cided
to
use
me
as
the
first
human
test
,
they
were
reason
­
ably
certain
that
there
was
no
physical
danger
involved
.
There
was
no
way
to
foresee
the
psychological
pitfalls
.
I
don
t
want
anyone
to
suffer
because
of
what
happens
to
me
.
The
only
question
now
is
:
How
much
can
I
hang
on
to
?
September
15
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Nemur
says
my
results
have
been
con
­
firmed
.
It
means
that
the
flaw
is
central
and
brings
the
en
­
tire
hypothesis
into
question
.
Someday
there
might
be
a
way
to
overcome
this
problem
,
but
that
time
is
not
yet
.
I
have
recommended
that
no
further
tests
be
made
on
human
beings
until
these
things
are
clarified
by
additional
research
on
animals
.
It
is
my
own
feeling
that
the
most
successful
line
of
re
­
search
will
be
that
taken
by
the
men
studying
enzyme
im
­
balances
.
As
with
so
many
other
things
,
time
is
the
key
factor
speed
in
discovering
the
deficiency
,
and
speed
in
administering
hormonal
substitutes
.
I
would
like
to
help
in
that
area
of
research
,
and
in
the
search
for
radioisotopes
that
may
be
used
in
local
cortical
control
,
but
I
know
now
that
I
won
t
have
the
time
.