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Imperceptibly
,
I
could
see
her
relax
.
By
keeping
the
se
­
cret
about
myself
,
I
had
somehow
not
committed
myself
to
Fay
completely
.
"
We
both
knew
that
,
wonderful
as
she
was
,
Fay
would
never
understand
.
"
I
needed
her
,
"
I
said
,
"
and
in
a
way
she
needed
me
,
and
living
right
across
from
each
other
,
well
it
was
just
handy
,
that
s
all
.
But
I
wouldn
t
call
it
love
not
the
same
thing
that
exists
between
us
.
"
She
looked
down
at
her
hands
and
frowned
.
"
I
m
not
sure
I
know
what
does
exist
between
us
.
"
Отключить рекламу
"
Something
so
deep
and
significant
that
Charlie
in
­
side
me
is
terrified
whenever
there
seems
to
be
any
chance
of
my
making
love
to
you
.
"
"
And
not
with
her
?
"
I
shrugged
.
"
That
s
how
I
know
it
s
not
important
with
her
.
It
doesn
t
mean
enough
for
Charlie
to
panic
.
"
"
Great
!
"
she
laughed
.
"
And
ironic
as
hell
.
When
you
talk
about
him
that
way
,
I
hate
him
for
coming
between
us
.
Do
you
think
he
ll
ever
let
you
.
.
.
let
us
.
.
.
"
Отключить рекламу
"
I
don
t
know
.
I
hope
so
.
"
I
left
her
at
the
door
.
"
We
shook
hands
,
and
yet
,
strangely
,
it
was
much
closer
and
more
intimate
than
an
embrace
would
have
been
.
I
went
home
and
made
love
to
Fay
,
but
kept
thinking
of
Alice
.