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"
I
can
’
t
stay
,
"
I
said
,
getting
hold
of
myself
and
fixing
my
gaze
at
the
beauty
mark
on
the
left
side
of
her
chin
.
"
I
’
ve
locked
myself
out
of
my
apartment
.
I
wanted
to
go
across
the
fire
escape
.
It
connects
our
windows
.
"
"
Any
time
,
"
she
assured
me
.
"
Those
lousy
patent
locks
are
a
pain
in
the
ass
.
I
locked
myself
out
of
this
place
three
times
the
first
week
I
lived
here
—
and
once
I
was
out
in
the
hall
stark
naked
for
half
an
hour
.
Stepped
out
to
get
the
milk
,
and
the
goddamned
door
swung
shut
behind
me
.
I
ripped
the
goddamned
lock
off
and
I
haven
’
t
had
one
on
my
door
since
.
"
I
must
have
frowned
,
because
she
laughed
.
"
Well
,
you
see
what
the
damned
locks
do
.
They
lock
you
out
,
and
they
don
’
t
protect
much
,
do
they
?
Fifteen
burglaries
in
this
goddamned
building
in
the
past
year
and
every
one
of
them
in
apartments
that
were
locked
.
No
one
ever
broke
in
here
,
even
though
the
door
was
always
open
.
They
’
d
have
a
rotten
time
finding
anything
valuable
here
anyway
.
"
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When
she
insisted
again
on
my
having
a
beer
with
her
,
I
accepted
.
While
she
was
getting
it
from
the
kitchen
,
I
looked
around
the
room
again
.
What
I
hadn
’
t
noticed
be
­
fore
was
that
the
part
of
the
wall
behind
me
had
been
cleared
away
—
all
the
furniture
pushed
to
one
side
of
the
room
or
the
center
,
so
that
the
far
wall
(
the
plaster
of
which
had
been
torn
off
to
expose
the
brick
)
served
as
an
art
gallery
.
Paintings
were
crowded
to
the
ceiling
and
oth
­
ers
were
stacked
against
each
other
on
the
floor
.
Several
of
them
were
self
-
portraits
,
including
two
nudes
.
The
paint
­
ing
she
had
been
working
on
when
I
came
in
,
the
one
on
the
easel
,
was
a
half
-
length
nude
of
herself
,
showing
her
hair
long
(
not
the
way
she
wore
it
now
,
up
in
blonde
braids
coiled
around
her
head
like
a
crown
)
down
to
her
shoul
­
ders
with
part
of
her
long
tresses
twisted
around
the
front
and
resting
between
her
breasts
.
She
had
painted
her
breasts
uptilted
and
firm
with
the
nipples
an
unrealistic
lollipop
-
red
.
When
I
heard
her
coming
back
with
the
beer
,
I
spun
away
from
the
easel
quickly
,
stumbled
over
some
books
,
and
pretended
to
be
interested
in
a
small
autumn
landscape
on
the
wall
.
I
was
relieved
to
see
that
she
had
slipped
into
a
thin
ragged
housecoat
—
even
though
it
had
holes
in
all
the
wrong
places
—
and
I
could
look
directly
at
her
for
the
first
time
.
Not
exactly
beautiful
,
but
her
blue
eyes
and
pert
snub
nose
gave
her
a
catlike
quality
that
contrasted
with
her
robust
,
athletic
movements
.
She
was
about
thirty
-
five
,
slender
and
well
proportioned
.
She
set
the
beers
on
the
hardwood
floor
,
curled
up
beside
them
in
front
of
the
sofa
,
and
motioned
for
me
to
do
the
same
.
"
I
find
the
floor
more
comfortable
than
chairs
,
"
she
said
,
sipping
the
beer
from
the
can
.
"
Don
’
t
you
?
"
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I
told
her
I
hadn
’
t
thought
about
it
,
and
she
laughed
and
said
I
had
an
honest
face
.
She
was
in
the
mood
to
talk
about
herself
.
She
avoided
Greenwich
Village
,
she
said
,
be
­
cause
there
,
instead
of
painting
,
she
would
be
spending
all
her
time
in
bars
and
coffee
shops
.
"
It
’
s
better
up
here
away
from
the
phonies
and
the
dilettantes
.
Here
I
can
do
what
I
want
and
no
one
comes
to
sneer
.
You
’
re
not
a
sneerer
,
are
you
?
"
I
shrugged
,
trying
not
to
notice
the
gritty
dust
all
over
my
trousers
and
my
hands
.
"
I
guess
we
all
sneer
at
some
­
thing
.
You
’
re
sneering
at
the
phonies
and
dilettantes
,
aren
’
t
you
?
"
After
a
while
,
I
said
I
’
d
better
be
getting
over
to
my
own
apartment
.
She
pushed
a
pile
of
books
away
from
the
window
—
and
I
climbed
over
newspapers
and
paper
bags
filled
with
empty
quart
beer
bottles
.
"
One
of
these
days
,
"
she
sighed
,
"
I
’
ve
got
to
cash
them
in
.
"