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Exactly
what
I
myself
had
thought
,
many
times
.
Exactly
what
was
perfectly
manifest
to
me
at
the
moment
.
But
how
could
I
,
a
poor
dazed
village
lad
,
avoid
that
wonderful
inconsistency
into
which
the
best
and
wisest
of
men
fall
every
day
?
"
It
may
be
all
quite
true
,
"
said
I
to
Biddy
,
"
but
I
admire
her
dreadfully
.
"
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In
short
,
I
turned
over
on
my
face
when
I
came
to
that
,
and
got
a
good
grasp
on
the
hair
on
each
side
of
my
head
,
and
wrenched
it
well
.
All
the
while
knowing
the
madness
of
my
heart
to
be
so
very
mad
and
misplaced
,
that
I
was
quite
conscious
it
would
have
served
my
face
right
,
if
I
had
lifted
it
up
by
my
hair
,
and
knocked
it
against
the
pebbles
as
a
punishment
for
belonging
to
such
an
idiot
.
Biddy
was
the
wisest
of
girls
,
and
she
tried
to
reason
no
more
with
me
.
She
put
her
hand
,
which
was
a
comfortable
hand
though
roughened
by
work
,
upon
my
hands
,
one
after
another
,
and
gently
took
them
out
of
my
hair
.
Then
she
softly
patted
my
shoulder
in
a
soothing
way
,
while
with
my
face
upon
my
sleeve
I
cried
a
little
—
exactly
as
I
had
done
in
the
brewery
yard
—
and
felt
vaguely
convinced
that
I
was
very
much
ill
-
used
by
somebody
,
or
by
everybody
;
I
can
’
t
say
which
.
"
I
am
glad
of
one
thing
,
"
said
Biddy
,
"
and
that
is
,
that
you
have
felt
you
could
give
me
your
confidence
,
Pip
.
And
I
am
glad
of
another
thing
,
and
that
is
,
that
of
course
you
know
you
may
depend
upon
my
keeping
it
and
always
so
far
deserving
it
.
If
your
first
teacher
(
dear
!
such
a
poor
one
,
and
so
much
in
need
of
being
taught
herself
!
)
had
been
your
teacher
at
the
present
time
,
she
thinks
she
knows
what
lesson
she
would
set
.
But
it
would
be
a
hard
one
to
learn
,
and
you
have
got
beyond
her
,
and
it
’
s
of
no
use
now
.
"
So
,
with
a
quiet
sigh
for
me
,
Biddy
rose
from
the
bank
,
and
said
,
with
a
fresh
and
pleasant
change
of
voice
,
"
Shall
we
walk
a
little
farther
,
or
go
home
?
"
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"
Biddy
,
"
I
cried
,
getting
up
,
putting
my
arm
round
her
neck
,
and
giving
her
a
kiss
,
"
I
shall
always
tell
you
everything
.
"
"
Till
you
’
re
a
gentleman
,
"
said
Biddy
.
"
You
know
I
never
shall
be
,
so
that
’
s
always
.
Not
that
I
have
any
occasion
to
tell
you
anything
,
for
you
know
everything
I
know
—
as
I
told
you
at
home
the
other
night
.
"