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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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- Стр. 646/820
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‘
No
,
no
,
’
said
I
.
‘
it
’
s
better
for
me
to
be
stupid
than
uncomfortable
,
isn
’
t
it
?
’
said
Dora
.
‘
Better
to
be
naturally
Dora
than
anything
else
in
the
world
.
’
‘
In
the
world
!
Ah
,
Doady
,
it
’
s
a
large
place
!
’
She
shook
her
head
,
turned
her
delighted
bright
eyes
up
to
mine
,
kissed
me
,
broke
into
a
merry
laugh
,
and
sprang
away
to
put
on
Jip
’
s
new
collar
.
So
ended
my
last
attempt
to
make
any
change
in
Dora
.
I
had
been
unhappy
in
trying
it
;
I
could
not
endure
my
own
solitary
wisdom
;
I
could
not
reconcile
it
with
her
former
appeal
to
me
as
my
child
-
wife
.
I
resolved
to
do
what
I
could
,
in
a
quiet
way
,
to
improve
our
proceedings
myself
,
but
I
foresaw
that
my
utmost
would
be
very
little
,
or
I
must
degenerate
into
the
spider
again
,
and
be
for
ever
lying
in
wait
.
And
the
shadow
I
have
mentioned
,
that
was
not
to
be
between
us
any
more
,
but
was
to
rest
wholly
on
my
own
heart
?
How
did
that
fall
?
The
old
unhappy
feeling
pervaded
my
life
.
It
was
deepened
,
if
it
were
changed
at
all
;
but
it
was
as
undefined
as
ever
,
and
addressed
me
like
a
strain
of
sorrowful
music
faintly
heard
in
the
night
.
I
loved
my
wife
dearly
,
and
I
was
happy
;
but
the
happiness
I
had
vaguely
anticipated
,
once
,
was
not
the
happiness
I
enjoyed
,
and
there
was
always
something
wanting
.
In
fulfilment
of
the
compact
I
have
made
with
myself
,
to
reflect
my
mind
on
this
paper
,
I
again
examine
it
,
closely
,
and
bring
its
secrets
to
the
light
.
What
I
missed
,
I
still
regarded
—
I
always
regarded
—
as
something
that
had
been
a
dream
of
my
youthful
fancy
;
that
was
incapable
of
realization
;
that
I
was
now
discovering
to
be
so
,
with
some
natural
pain
,
as
all
men
did
.
But
that
it
would
have
been
better
for
me
if
my
wife
could
have
helped
me
more
,
and
shared
the
many
thoughts
in
which
I
had
no
partner
;
and
that
this
might
have
been
;
I
knew
.
Between
these
two
irreconcilable
conclusions
:
the
one
,
that
what
I
felt
was
general
and
unavoidable
;
the
other
,
that
it
was
particular
to
me
,
and
might
have
been
different
:
I
balanced
curiously
,
with
no
distinct
sense
of
their
opposition
to
each
other
.
When
I
thought
of
the
airy
dreams
of
youth
that
are
incapable
of
realization
,
I
thought
of
the
better
state
preceding
manhood
that
I
had
outgrown
;
and
then
the
contented
days
with
Agnes
,
in
the
dear
old
house
,
arose
before
me
,
like
spectres
of
the
dead
,
that
might
have
some
renewal
in
another
world
,
but
never
more
could
be
reanimated
here
.
