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‘
Oh
!
How
ridiculous
!
’
cried
Dora
.
‘
How
shall
we
live
without
,
Dora
?
’
said
I
.
‘
How
?
Any
how
!
’
said
Dora
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She
seemed
to
think
she
had
quite
settled
the
question
,
and
gave
me
such
a
triumphant
little
kiss
,
direct
from
her
innocent
heart
,
that
I
would
hardly
have
put
her
out
of
conceit
with
her
answer
,
for
a
fortune
.
Well
!
I
loved
her
,
and
I
went
on
loving
her
,
most
absorbingly
,
entirely
,
and
completely
.
But
going
on
,
too
,
working
pretty
hard
,
and
busily
keeping
red
-
hot
all
the
irons
I
now
had
in
the
fire
,
I
would
sit
sometimes
of
a
night
,
opposite
my
aunt
,
thinking
how
I
had
frightened
Dora
that
time
,
and
how
I
could
best
make
my
way
with
a
guitar
-
case
through
the
forest
of
difficulty
,
until
I
used
to
fancy
that
my
head
was
turning
quite
grey
.
Idid
not
allow
my
resolution
,
with
respect
to
the
Parliamentary
Debates
,
to
cool
.
It
was
one
of
the
irons
I
began
to
heat
immediately
,
and
one
of
the
irons
I
kept
hot
,
and
hammered
at
,
with
a
perseverance
I
may
honestly
admire
.
I
bought
an
approved
scheme
of
the
noble
art
and
mystery
of
stenography
(
which
cost
me
ten
and
sixpence
)
;
and
plunged
into
a
sea
of
perplexity
that
brought
me
,
in
a
few
weeks
,
to
the
confines
of
distraction
.
The
changes
that
were
rung
upon
dots
,
which
in
such
a
position
meant
such
a
thing
,
and
in
such
another
position
something
else
,
entirely
different
;
the
wonderful
vagaries
that
were
played
by
circles
;
the
unaccountable
consequences
that
resulted
from
marks
like
flies
’
legs
;
the
tremendous
effects
of
a
curve
in
a
wrong
place
;
not
only
troubled
my
waking
hours
,
but
reappeared
before
me
in
my
sleep
.
When
I
had
groped
my
way
,
blindly
,
through
these
difficulties
,
and
had
mastered
the
alphabet
,
which
was
an
Egyptian
Temple
in
itself
,
there
then
appeared
a
procession
of
new
horrors
,
called
arbitrary
characters
;
the
most
despotic
characters
I
have
ever
known
;
who
insisted
,
for
instance
,
that
a
thing
like
the
beginning
of
a
cobweb
,
meant
expectation
,
and
that
a
pen
-
and
-
ink
sky
-
rocket
,
stood
for
disadvantageous
.
When
I
had
fixed
these
wretches
in
my
mind
,
I
found
that
they
had
driven
everything
else
out
of
it
;
then
,
beginning
again
,
I
forgot
them
;
while
I
was
picking
them
up
,
I
dropped
the
other
fragments
of
the
system
;
in
short
,
it
was
almost
heart
-
breaking
.
It
might
have
been
quite
heart
-
breaking
,
but
for
Dora
,
who
was
the
stay
and
anchor
of
my
tempest
-
driven
bark
.
Every
scratch
in
the
scheme
was
a
gnarled
oak
in
the
forest
of
difficulty
,
and
I
went
on
cutting
them
down
,
one
after
another
,
with
such
vigour
,
that
in
three
or
four
months
I
was
in
a
condition
to
make
an
experiment
on
one
of
our
crack
speakers
in
the
Commons
.
Shall
I
ever
forget
how
the
crack
speaker
walked
off
from
me
before
I
began
,
and
left
my
imbecile
pencil
staggering
about
the
paper
as
if
it
were
in
a
fit
!
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This
would
not
do
,
it
was
quite
clear
.
I
was
flying
too
high
,
and
should
never
get
on
,
so
.
I
resorted
to
Traddles
for
advice
;
who
suggested
that
he
should
dictate
speeches
to
me
,
at
a
pace
,
and
with
occasional
stoppages
,
adapted
to
my
weakness
.
Very
grateful
for
this
friendly
aid
,
I
accepted
the
proposal
;
and
night
after
night
,
almost
every
night
,
for
a
long
time
,
we
had
a
sort
of
Private
Parliament
in
Buckingham
Street
,
after
I
came
home
from
the
Doctor
’
s
.
I
should
like
to
see
such
a
Parliament
anywhere
else
!
My
aunt
and
Mr
.
Dick
represented
the
Government
or
the
Opposition
(
as
the
case
might
be
)
,
and
Traddles
,
with
the
assistance
of
Enfield
’
s
Speakers
,
or
a
volume
of
parliamentary
orations
,
thundered
astonishing
invectives
against
them
.
Standing
by
the
table
,
with
his
finger
in
the
page
to
keep
the
place
,
and
his
right
arm
flourishing
above
his
head
,
Traddles
,
as
Mr
.
Pitt
,
Mr
.
Fox
,
Mr
.
Sheridan
,
Mr
.
Burke
,
Lord
Castlereagh
,
Viscount
Sidmouth
,
or
Mr
.
Canning
,
would
work
himself
into
the
most
violent
heats
,
and
deliver
the
most
withering
denunciations
of
the
profligacy
and
corruption
of
my
aunt
and
Mr
.
Dick
;
while
I
used
to
sit
,
at
a
little
distance
,
with
my
notebook
on
my
knee
,
fagging
after
him
with
all
my
might
and
main
.
The
inconsistency
and
recklessness
of
Traddles
were
not
to
be
exceeded
by
any
real
politician
.
He
was
for
any
description
of
policy
,
in
the
compass
of
a
week
;
and
nailed
all
sorts
of
colours
to
every
denomination
of
mast
.
My
aunt
,
looking
very
like
an
immovable
Chancellor
of
the
Exchequer
,
would
occasionally
throw
in
an
interruption
or
two
,
as
‘
Hear
!
’
or
‘
No
!
’
or
‘
Oh
!
’
when
the
text
seemed
to
require
it
:
which
was
always
a
signal
to
Mr
.
Dick
(
a
perfect
country
gentleman
)
to
follow
lustily
with
the
same
cry
.
But
Mr
.
Dick
got
taxed
with
such
things
in
the
course
of
his
Parliamentary
career
,
and
was
made
responsible
for
such
awful
consequences
,
that
he
became
uncomfortable
in
his
mind
sometimes
.
I
believe
he
actually
began
to
be
afraid
he
really
had
been
doing
something
,
tending
to
the
annihilation
of
the
British
constitution
,
and
the
ruin
of
the
country
.