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- Стр. 123/148
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It
was
herself
!
Margaret
was
changing
!
At
times
during
the
past
few
days
I
had
hardly
known
her
as
the
same
girl
whom
I
had
met
at
the
picnic
,
and
whose
vigils
I
had
shared
in
the
sick-room
of
her
father
.
Then
,
even
in
her
moments
of
greatest
sorrow
or
fright
or
anxiety
,
she
was
all
life
and
thought
and
keenness
.
Now
she
was
generally
distraite
,
and
at
times
in
a
sort
of
negative
condition
as
though
her
mind
--
her
very
being
--
was
not
present
.
At
such
moments
she
would
have
full
possession
of
observation
and
memory
.
She
would
know
and
remember
all
that
was
going
on
,
and
had
gone
on
around
her
;
but
her
coming
back
to
her
old
self
had
to
me
something
the
sensation
of
a
new
person
coming
into
the
room
.
Up
to
the
time
of
leaving
London
I
had
been
content
whenever
she
was
present
.
I
had
over
me
that
delicious
sense
of
security
which
comes
with
the
consciousness
that
love
is
mutual
.
But
now
doubt
had
taken
its
place
.
I
never
knew
whether
the
personality
present
was
my
Margaret
--
the
old
Margaret
whom
I
had
loved
at
the
first
glance
--
or
the
other
new
Margaret
,
whom
I
hardly
understood
,
and
whose
intellectual
aloofness
made
an
impalpable
barrier
between
us
.
Sometimes
she
would
become
,
as
it
were
,
awake
all
at
once
.
At
such
times
,
though
she
would
say
to
me
sweet
and
pleasant
things
which
she
had
often
said
before
,
she
would
seem
most
unlike
herself
.
It
was
almost
as
if
she
was
speaking
parrot-like
or
at
dictation
of
one
who
could
read
words
or
acts
,
but
not
thoughts
.
After
one
or
two
experiences
of
this
kind
,
my
own
doubting
began
to
make
a
barrier
;
for
I
could
not
speak
with
the
ease
and
freedom
which
were
usual
to
me
.
And
so
hour
by
hour
we
drifted
apart
.
Were
it
not
for
the
few
odd
moments
when
the
old
Margaret
was
back
with
me
full
of
her
charm
I
do
not
know
what
would
have
happened
.
As
it
was
,
each
such
moment
gave
me
a
fresh
start
and
kept
my
love
from
changing
.
I
would
have
given
the
world
for
a
confidant
;
but
this
was
impossible
.
How
could
I
speak
a
doubt
of
Margaret
to
anyone
,
even
her
father
!
How
could
I
speak
a
doubt
to
Margaret
,
when
Margaret
herself
was
the
theme
!
I
could
only
endure
--
and
hope
.
And
of
the
two
the
endurance
was
the
lesser
pain
.
I
think
that
Margaret
must
have
at
times
felt
that
there
was
some
cloud
between
us
,
for
towards
the
end
of
the
first
day
she
began
to
shun
me
a
little
;
or
perhaps
it
was
that
she
had
become
more
diffident
that
usual
about
me
.
Hitherto
she
had
sought
every
opportunity
of
being
with
me
,
just
as
I
had
tried
to
be
with
her
;
so
that
now
any
avoidance
,
one
of
the
other
,
made
a
new
pain
to
us
both
.
On
this
day
the
household
seemed
very
still
.
Each
one
of
us
was
about
his
own
work
,
or
occupied
with
his
own
thoughts
.
We
only
met
at
meal
times
;
and
then
,
though
we
talked
,
all
seemed
more
or
less
preoccupied
.
There
was
not
in
the
house
even
the
stir
of
the
routine
of
service
.
The
precaution
of
Mr.
Trelawny
in
having
three
rooms
prepared
for
each
of
us
had
rendered
servants
unnecessary
.
The
dining-room
was
solidly
prepared
with
cooked
provisions
for
several
days
.
Towards
evening
I
went
out
by
myself
for
a
stroll
.
I
had
looked
for
Margaret
to
ask
her
to
come
with
me
;
but
when
I
found
her
,
she
was
in
one
of
her
apathetic
moods
,
and
the
charm
of
her
presence
seemed
lost
to
me
.
Angry
with
myself
,
but
unable
to
quell
my
own
spirit
of
discontent
,
I
went
out
alone
over
the
rocky
headland
.
On
the
cliff
,
with
the
wide
expanse
of
wonderful
sea
before
me
,
and
no
sound
but
the
dash
of
waves
below
and
the
harsh
screams
of
the
seagulls
above
,
my
thoughts
ran
free
.
Do
what
I
would
,
they
returned
continuously
to
one
subject
,
the
solving
of
the
doubt
that
was
upon
me
.
Here
in
the
solitude
,
amid
the
wide
circle
of
Nature
's
force
and
strife
,
my
mind
began
to
work
truly
.
Unconsciously
I
found
myself
asking
a
question
which
I
would
not
allow
myself
to
answer
.
At
last
the
persistence
of
a
mind
working
truly
prevailed
;
I
found
myself
face
to
face
with
my
doubt
.
The
habit
of
my
life
began
to
assert
itself
,
and
I
analysed
the
evidence
before
me
.
It
was
so
startling
that
I
had
to
force
myself
into
obedience
to
logical
effort
.
My
starting-place
was
this
:
Margaret
was
changed
--
in
what
way
,
and
by
what
means
?
Was
it
her
character
,
or
her
mind
,
or
her
nature
?
for
her
physical
appearance
remained
the
same
.
I
began
to
group
all
that
I
had
ever
heard
of
her
,
beginning
at
her
birth
.
It
was
strange
at
the
very
first
.
She
had
been
,
according
to
Corbeck
's
statement
,
born
of
a
dead
mother
during
the
time
that
her
father
and
his
friend
were
in
a
trance
in
the
tomb
at
Aswan
.
That
trance
was
presumably
effected
by
a
woman
;
a
woman
mummied
,
yet
preserving
as
we
had
every
reason
to
believe
from
after
experience
,
an
astral
body
subject
to
a
free
will
and
an
active
intelligence
.
With
that
astral
body
,
space
ceased
to
exist
.
