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- Александр Дюма
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- Граф Монте-Кристо
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- Стр. 1043/1279
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"
No
,
it
is
not
existence
,
then
,
that
I
regret
,
but
the
ruin
of
projects
so
slowly
carried
out
,
so
laboriously
framed
.
Providence
is
now
opposed
to
them
,
when
I
most
thought
it
would
be
propitious
.
It
is
not
God
's
will
that
they
should
be
accomplished
.
This
burden
,
almost
as
heavy
as
a
world
,
which
I
had
raised
,
and
I
had
thought
to
bear
to
the
end
,
was
too
great
for
my
strength
,
and
I
was
compelled
to
lay
it
down
in
the
middle
of
my
career
.
Oh
,
shall
I
then
,
again
become
a
fatalist
,
whom
fourteen
years
of
despair
and
ten
of
hope
had
rendered
a
believer
in
providence
?
And
all
this
--
all
this
,
because
my
heart
,
which
I
thought
dead
,
was
only
sleeping
;
because
it
has
awakened
and
has
begun
to
beat
again
,
because
I
have
yielded
to
the
pain
of
the
emotion
excited
in
my
breast
by
a
woman
's
voice
.
Yet
,
"
continued
the
count
,
becoming
each
moment
more
absorbed
in
the
anticipation
of
the
dreadful
sacrifice
for
the
morrow
,
which
Mercedes
had
accepted
,
"
yet
,
it
is
impossible
that
so
noble-minded
a
woman
should
thus
through
selfishness
consent
to
my
death
when
I
am
in
the
prime
of
life
and
strength
;
it
is
impossible
that
she
can
carry
to
such
a
point
maternal
love
,
or
rather
delirium
.
There
are
virtues
which
become
crimes
by
exaggeration
.
No
,
she
must
have
conceived
some
pathetic
scene
;
she
will
come
and
throw
herself
between
us
;
and
what
would
be
sublime
here
will
there
appear
ridiculous
.
"
The
blush
of
pride
mounted
to
the
count
's
forehead
as
this
thought
passed
through
his
mind
.
"
Ridiculous
?
"
repeated
he
;
"
and
the
ridicule
will
fall
on
me
.
I
ridiculous
?
No
,
I
would
rather
die
.
"
By
thus
exaggerating
to
his
own
mind
the
anticipated
ill-fortune
of
the
next
day
,
to
which
he
had
condemned
himself
by
promising
Mercedes
to
spare
her
son
,
the
count
at
last
exclaimed
,
"
Folly
,
folly
,
folly
!
--
to
carry
generosity
so
far
as
to
put
myself
up
as
a
mark
for
that
young
man
to
aim
at
.
He
will
never
believe
that
my
death
was
suicide
;
and
yet
it
is
important
for
the
honor
of
my
memory
--
and
this
surely
is
not
vanity
,
but
a
justifiable
pride
--
it
is
important
the
world
should
know
that
I
have
consented
,
by
my
free
will
,
to
stop
my
arm
,
already
raised
to
strike
,
and
that
with
the
arm
which
has
been
so
powerful
against
others
I
have
struck
myself
.
It
must
be
;
it
shall
be
.
"
Seizing
a
pen
,
he
drew
a
paper
from
a
secret
drawer
in
his
desk
,
and
wrote
at
the
bottom
of
the
document
(
which
was
no
other
than
his
will
,
made
since
his
arrival
in
Paris
)
a
sort
of
codicil
,
clearly
explaining
the
nature
of
his
death
.
"
I
do
this
,
O
my
God
,
"
said
he
,
with
his
eyes
raised
to
heaven
,
"
as
much
for
thy
honor
as
for
mine
.
I
have
during
ten
years
considered
myself
the
agent
of
thy
vengeance
,
and
other
wretches
,
like
Morcerf
,
Danglars
,
Villefort
,
even
Morcerf
himself
,
must
not
imagine
that
chance
has
freed
them
from
their
enemy
.
Let
them
know
,
on
the
contrary
,
that
their
punishment
,
which
had
been
decreed
by
providence
,
is
only
delayed
by
my
present
determination
,
and
although
they
escape
it
in
this
world
,
it
awaits
them
in
another
,
and
that
they
are
only
exchanging
time
for
eternity
.
"
While
he
was
thus
agitated
by
gloomy
uncertainties
--
wretched
waking
dreams
of
grief
--
the
first
rays
of
morning
pierced
his
windows
,
and
shone
upon
the
pale
blue
paper
on
which
he
had
just
inscribed
his
justification
of
providence
.
It
was
just
five
o'clock
in
the
morning
when
a
slight
noise
like
a
stifled
sigh
reached
his
ear
.
He
turned
his
head
,
looked
around
him
,
and
saw
no
one
;
but
the
sound
was
repeated
distinctly
enough
to
convince
him
of
its
reality
.
He
arose
,
and
quietly
opening
the
door
of
the
drawing-room
,
saw
Haidee
,
who
had
fallen
on
a
chair
,
with
her
arms
hanging
down
and
her
beautiful
head
thrown
back
.
She
had
been
standing
at
the
door
,
to
prevent
his
going
out
without
seeing
her
,
until
sleep
,
which
the
young
can
not
resist
,
had
overpowered
her
frame
,
wearied
as
she
was
with
watching
.
The
noise
of
the
door
did
not
awaken
her
,
and
Monte
Cristo
gazed
at
her
with
affectionate
regret
.
"
She
remembered
that
she
had
a
son
,
"
said
he
;
"
and
I
forgot
I
had
a
daughter
.
"
Then
,
shaking
his
head
sorrowfully
,
"
Poor
Haidee
,
"
said
he
;
"
she
wished
to
see
me
,
to
speak
to
me
;
she
has
feared
or
guessed
something
.
Oh
,
I
can
not
go
without
taking
leave
of
her
;
I
can
not
die
without
confiding
her
to
some
one
.
"
He
quietly
regained
his
seat
,
and
wrote
under
the
other
lines
:
--
"
I
bequeath
to
Maximilian
Morrel
,
captain
of
Spahis
--
and
son
of
my
former
patron
,
Pierre
Morrel
,
shipowner
at
Marseilles
--
the
sum
of
twenty
millions
,
a
part
of
which
may
be
offered
to
his
sister
Julia
and
brother-inlaw
Emmanuel
,
if
he
does
not
fear
this
increase
of
fortune
may
mar
their
happiness
.
These
twenty
millions
are
concealed
in
my
grotto
at
Monte
Cristo
,
of
which
Bertuccio
knows
the
secret
.
If
his
heart
is
free
,
and
he
will
marry
Haidee
,
the
daughter
of
Ali
Pasha
of
Yanina
,
whom
I
have
brought
up
with
the
love
of
a
father
,
and
who
has
shown
the
love
and
tenderness
of
a
daughter
for
me
,
he
will
thus
accomplish
my
last
wish
.
This
will
has
already
constituted
Haidee
heiress
of
the
rest
of
my
fortune
,
consisting
of
lands
,
funds
in
England
,
Austria
,
and
Holland
,
furniture
in
my
different
palaces
and
houses
,
and
which
without
the
twenty
millions
and
the
legacies
to
my
servants
,
may
still
amount
to
sixty
millions
.
"
